Super-Sizing Your Teen’s Self-Esteem

Your teenager may go through times where their self-esteem goes up and down; especially if they’re being teased by their peers.  You may want to find ways of raising your teen’s self-esteem to a higher level to help them cope with their issues.  Here are some ways you can do just that:

Take the Time To Listen- You may not always be able to stop what you’re doing when your teen wants to talk. Don’t brush them away and say that you don’t have time. This shows them you don’t care even when you actually do. Tell them that you need a minute or two to finish up what you’re doing and then you will sit down and talk with them.

Listen- Your teen needs to know that you’re actually listening to what they’re saying. Let them tell you what’s on their mind. Ask questions related to what they’re saying. For example, if they’re telling you about someone at school, you can ask if that person is in their class or not. This shows them that what they have to say is valuable; no matter what it is. On the same token, don’t interrupt them by saying what they’re talking about is wrong. Let them talk through their issue first and then explain what might have been wrong about it.

More Praise- Offer more praise for the good things they do and less focus on the things they do wrong. You still want to show them what their mistakes are, but don’t dwell solely on that. Tell them what they could have done right and praise them for anything they may have done correctly in that situation. This helps them see that they aren’t as bad as they might think they are.

Punish Behaviors and Not The Teen- There will be times where you will have to dole out some form of punishment for your teen. It’s important that you punish the behavior, but never tell your teen how stupid they are for doing it or that they can’t do anything right. You would only be adding to their self-esteem problem. They need to know the behavior was unacceptable, but talk to them about how they could have handled it instead, so they don’t come out of it feeling like they’re not worth anything.

Share some of their interests- You don’t need to like everything they do. Find some things that they like and learn about them. For example, if your teen likes to play golf; you can offer to take them sometime and play along with. They can even teach you how to play, so they can feel like they’re really good at something.

Be Understanding- Don’t laugh or brush off your teen’s fears or insecurities. Always be understanding of that fear and help them work through whatever it is. Confess to some fears you might have had when you were their age. This shows them that they’re not alone and they’re not dumb for what they’re feeling.

Encourage- You will want to encourage your teen to do whatever it is they want to do. If their career choice is to be an engineer, then encourage them to find out what they need to learn to become one and encourage them to do whatever they need to accomplish that goal. If they choose to become a professional sports player and not go to college; you should still encourage them to continue playing that sport, but they could do it while in college. Let them know that they can get a feel for how it could work if they get on a professional team later on.

These things give them the confidence they need to try new things and to look forward to the future.  To get super-sized self-esteem for your teen, you can start offering it yourself. This will help them when they have issues outside of the home that could cause a poor self-confidence.