Tears on Both Sides of the Ocean (part 1)

Eke had been living with our parents for close to 9 months as an AFS student in the '70's when Uncle "Joe" arrived one evening and without a spoken word, influenced her to pack her bags and leave for Los Angeles immediately. Eke's only explanation was that "...something was wrong at home in Japan."

Mom and dad had received a phone call some days earlier and were told that Uncle Joe was coming to take Eke home. Eke had explained that everything was fine but that she was to go back to Japan immediately on family business. Although mom and dad questioned her, there was no doubt that was the plan.

Eke had arrived in August that year to attend her final year of High School. She was the 9th exchange student to live with my parents since 1963 and they had become very fond her. She was the daughter that mom had never had. She was bubbly and full of spunk with a laugh that would put smiles on everyone around her.

Mom was very sad to see her go. But Eke assured her "I'm coming back mom". Eke was still 22 days away from graduating but something was critical back home so there was no choice. Dad met with the school the following day after Eke boarded the jetliner for home and the school agreed to some special arrangements since she was a good student and had not missed one day that school year. Eke had her certificate by the end of June.

Eke was an only child and her family was very traditional. As was culturally acceptable, Eke's parents had already arranged for a suitable husband for their daughter and although there was no rush to get married, some events had come to her parent's attention that demanded action. It had been learned that while in the United States their daughter had been dating and getting quite serious about a young man from the Valley that was of Mexican and Pilipino decent. And no discussions with her Uncle and Aunt were changing her feelings and they could tell that Eke was of her own mind.

Eke's mom and dad were worried they were losing their only daughter and although it may seem to those from another culture that they over-reacted, it was their only daughter and they were in Japan and so "what choice did we have?"

There were tears on both sides of the ocean as Eke made her way back home. Carlo, the boy that she had been dating for 5 months, was in shock. He didn't even find out from mom and dad what had happened till Eke was 750 miles off shore. Just like that two young hearts were broken.

Several days had gone by with no word from Eke or anyone else from her family when the doorbell rang at my parent's home and there was Carlo, red faced and in need of a hug. He sobbed uncontrollably with mom in her arms till all the emotion was spent and then sat down to tell mom and dad of his plan. He was not going to lose Eke. Carlo had just been accepted to Sacramento State and had decided to attend summer school to learn Japanese. He was going to Japan in the fall to talk to Eke's parents and win the hand of the girl he loved.

Mom and dad listened, counseled, encouraged, and listened some more. "Have you talked to Eke by phone?" "Have you talked to your mother?" (Carlo was from a single parent family and had not seen his father in several years) Mom and dad knew this was a sensitive subject and although they also understood there were cultural issues to consider they felt "what could be the harm in talking?" Carlo seemed to have a fairly level head, he was going to work two jobs while attending school to pay for his flight and expenses, and he knew what he wanted and acknowledged that this was not going to be easy. But he also knew that he had to fight for Eke regardless of the consequences. This was a guy in love.

That summer Carlo took 15 units of Japanese at Sac State, worked 30 hours each week and studied virtually every waking hour. He called Japan every Sunday evening only to be told that Eke "could not speak to him right now." But he was not to be deterred. He was bound for Japan, had reservations for flight and hotel in late August and that was that. Carlo was on a mission and nothing, not anything, was going to get in his way. (to be continued...)