The rules of parenthood

What is a good parent? The aim is probably to be - as someone quite rightly put it - "your child's springboard and safety net". But how do you do that? And most importantly of all: how do you give them self-confidence? 1) You're good enough These demands all the time. They seem to be an almost unavoidable part of the age we live in. We're constantly striving to be good enough. So is that why we don't think we're good enough as parents? There's just loads of information washing over us, telling how to train our kids and how to stimulate them and it goes on and on and I can't do it and I don't have the time. But there's no problem. You are good enough. 2) Listen to your intuition We probably spend a lot of time wondering whether we're doing the right thing (or wrong thing!), instead of listening to ourselves and our babies. Most of us have good intuition when it comes to knowing what's right. Don't watch others to see what they're doing, unless it's to get some ideas. Don't copy anything. Your child has its own little personality and is a part of its own little family. You're the ones that everything should work for. 3) Accept the baby you have Does that sound a bit weird? Well, just think about it. When you're expecting a baby, you have lots of hopes and dreams, and things don't often turn out the way you'd imagine them to be. Maybe your child isn't as outgoing as you - your child might be really shy. The little one might not handle change anything like as well as you do. Those are the things that might really irritate you, and you have to work on them. All children are good at something, but perhaps not what you were thinking of.Children have their own personalities. Some parents don't need to tidy anything up, while others have to keep their homes spotless. Some children, quite simply, are more inquisitive than others, and that rarely has anything to do with their upbringing. 4) Support your child Do you want to give your child self-confidence? If so, you have to respect the child. Your child is an individual and may not share your opinions. Their opinions are important too. And exciting. Supporting your child, showing an interest in them, shows the little one that you accept it as it is. That your child is good enough, that its opinions are valid and important.You also have to tell your child that you love it, even when it does silly things or is angry. 5) Setting boundaries isn't always just a matter of saying no Choose your disputes and be flexible. You don't have to stick with a "no" just because that was your first response. And don't say no automatically, that just makes the "no" lose its effect. Think first. 6) Be adultAllowing your child to decide everything and rule the everyday lives of the family just makes it feel frustrated. You're the adult - you call the shots. And you don't need to argue or appeal to your child's better nature. You can make decisions based on the fact that you simply know best. But children do have the right to be angry. 7) Don't threaten - if you can avoid it.Watch out for threats. Choose carefully the threats you intend to use. Don't threaten to leave your child alone or send it away, that can really cause anxiety. You're allowed to get mad and shout sometimes, but you also have to apologise and explain why you were so angry. 8) Set a good example Children don't do what you say, they do what you do. The upbringing of a child is a result of the interests of the family and how the family works. If you want your child to show empathy, you have to do the same thing first. 9) Remember what it was like to be a child Try in this way to understand why your child gets so angry, so frustrated, so happy. Try to understand your child's arguments. Don't say no just because you think having a playhouse in the living room would be a nuisance, for example.Libero Forum for young parents in Greece