Having to deal with rebellious teenagers is nothing new. But what causes them to be rebellious? Is it something in the water? Not hardly, but it does have something to do with their hormones.
Having to deal with rebellious teenagers is nothing new. But what causes them to be rebellious? Is it something in the water? Not hardly, but it does have something to do with their hormones. The teenage years send the hormones of both girls and boys onto a roller coaster ride of feelings and emotions that are difficult to comprehend or relate too. The key here is as parents you have to try. You have to remember when you were a teenager because we have all been there. It is not like we turned 13 and decided to skip that phase of our life and jumped ahead until we were 20. We have been there and done that and part of our duty as parents is too try to use that reflection to find a piece of common ground with our rebellious teenagers.
Rebellious teenagers develop because they are fighting hard to find themselves and a position of independence in their lives. They have depended on their parents for many years but now they are feeling growing pains. They desire to spread their wings and find their own niche in life. All of the sudden the approach their parents once used to relate to them causes them to fly off the handle. They no longer feel comfortable answering 30 questions or having their privacy violated. They know that you are their parents and that it is your responsibility to be concerned about them but they want their own space. The peer pressure is so devastating at this age that teenagers are constantly on the edge. They want to please their friends. They want to be accepted by those in their circle of life and this really does include their family.
However, too often their desire for independence clashes with the vision the parents have for the relationship. As parents if you do not want to have rebellious teenagers then you have to find a way to relate to them. You have to develop an approach that will create a bond of trust between you and your teenager without pressuring them anymore than they already are. Many times in relationships between parents and teenagers the line of communication is blocked. The teenager feels unable to talk about their feelings with their parents in fear of ridicule or rejection. They become defensive and feel that the only way to express their independence is to rebel. On the other hand if parents can develop a relationship built on trust and honesty without a thousand strings attached than you can keep you foot in your teenagers door.
As parents it is natural to desire respect from your teenagers. The thing is teenagers desire respect as well. They are trying to develop into adults and they want to be treated as such. There is never a time in your children's life where you should not show your love and appreciation for whom they are as human beings. You can show your love and concern, impose your rules and regulations and still show them respect. Give them space to learn. Often times in life we learn by our mistakes. Give them that opportunity. Let them share in the decision making process. Treat them as you would want to be treated and you will see a difference in your rebellious teenagers.
