A Journey’s Beginning – Recovering From 20+ years of Insomnia

What time is it?

2:17AM

Move around: adjust the covers; hit the pillow.

It must be later!

“What time is it?”

2:21 AM

Not again! Uncontrollable thoughts are popping around in my head.  Some time must have passed!

“What time is it?”

2:29 AM

I’ll never be able to get up at 6:00 AM and be alert and awake for work!  How long do I have to put up with this?

 “Should I just get up?”

I’m going to feel sooooo horrible today!

“Where’s my pill?” 

Aarrgghh… 6 AM!

So, do you believe you create your nighttime reality?  Do you not already create your daytime reality?

  What inspired Me to Write this Book?

I have suffered from ‘wake-up’ insomnia for some 20+ years.  My night marauding is finally at an end.  My clock is no longer my enemy.  

I rolled over 10 times a night and looked at the time.

I took antidepressants.

I took sleeping pills.

I felt miserable at night.

I dreaded the coming day.

I worried constantly that I would not be able to perform adequately.

I was angry that this was happening to me.

I experienced a desperate sense of entrapment.

I was simply tired.

  Enough!

I had existed in this state of sleeplessness, of one miserable night after another, for so long that I believed that a true, restful night was beyond my reach, like some unattainable state of well-being.  Access denied!  However, that was not the case because I discovered a new path to achieve my goal of a good nights’ sleep and obtain that deep sense of feeling good all day long. 

When you experience not sleeping night after night, all you really want to do is sleep soundly.  These years of hardship of mental and physical struggles and asking, “Why me?”, were weighing heavily on me.  But, it was finally coming to an end.  Somewhere down deep, I knew that I really wanted to make a change in my sleep habits; I wanted to get off the medication; I did not want to live this way for the next 40 – 50 years of my life.  I wanted change!  I wanted control over my nights.  These thoughts became my focused, burning desires. 

Part of my discovery was that this situation wasn’t so much paradise lost as much as it was paradise denied!  Had my sleep been eroded by external forces outside of my control?  No!  Why was this state of restful sleep denied?  What was the barrier?  I was thunderstruck when I realized that I was the barrier.  My thinking, my behavior, and my patterns were so ingrained and I didn’t even know I’d done it to myself.   Ultimately, I discovered that my thinking and focus were at the core of the problem.  There was no one else to blame.  I was responsible for my situation; for my reality.

  The Day of Awakening

Your thoughts really do become the essence of growth and change, because one day, I literally woke up and said to myself, “I’m tired of this continual negative pattern.  I want to change whatever I need to in order to create a positive nighttime experience.”  That was the day I stopped taking sleeping medication; that was the beginning of my journey of discovery.

Where can I go; whom can I talk to; what can I read; what could I discover?  What could I do to change these horrible, debilitating nighttime habits?

Since that day of awakening, I have entered a new dimension.  I discovered that I really did have control over the events of my day and night.  I’d already tried acupuncture and hypnosis to help me sleep.  These treatments in and of themselves, for me, were not particularly effective.  I read any kind of literature and books describing the physiological processes involved with sleep and began practicing various behavioral techniques that induce relaxation.  Although you cannot make sleep happen by trying, it is important to relax your mind and body with the intention of reducing stress.  By introducing a sense of calm and peacefulness, you set the stage for sleep – you invite it in.  Ultimately, there was nowhere else to go besides inside.  I literally awoke to the reality of my discovery – that change needed to happen from within as well as from without.  You need to allow sleep to happen naturally.   It was more than just changing my physical behaviors (though these are major contributing factors); it was the direction of my thoughts and energy that directed and influenced the change.

  The Promise of Sleep

Is the promise of a good night’s sleep just an illusion?  I think not.  I found I had the ability to change my sleep habits.  Let my journey and discoveries be an inspiration for your awakening.  Your sleep habits can change too.  Your thoughts really do become the essence of your growth and change.  As Mike Dooley, (Infinite Possibilities, www.tut.com) says, “Thoughts (really do) become things”.  With positive thoughts, your behaviors will also change and your nighttime reality will become one of rest, bliss and rejuvenation.  As you read of my challenges and struggles, you will discover beneficial techniques, processes and information that will assist in your personal growth and change toward positive sleep experiences.

  Excerpted from: The Introduction to the e-book ‘The Spirit of Sleep’.  Continued at http://www.thespiritofsleep.com.