Bullying at school

Bullying happens, however much we dislike the idea. But the effects of bullying can last into adulthood, so it’s important that everyone helps to protect bullied children.

What is bullying?

Bullying at school, and elsewhere, can take many forms, including violent attacks, threats, name calling, social isolation, hitting, tormenting and humiliation. If children are persistently bullied, they can develop low self-esteem, shyness, depression, suicidal feelings and their academic work can start to suffer.

What can I do if my child is being bullied at school?

Your overall aim is to work with the school. Stay calm when you talk to them; don’t get confrontational or aggressive.

You may need support and advice too, as this won’t be easy for you. There are a number of organisations with helplines for parents and children who are victims of bullying (see Sources of Information and Support below).

What if my child doesn’t want to tell the school?

Don’t be surprised if your child wants to put the brakes on the process once she has told you.

The bullying isn’t resolved in, say, two weeks, the school will need to be involved. In the meantime, suggest that you talk informally to other parents to see whether the bullying is widespread.

If your child is hesitant about approaching her form teacher, ask if there is someone else in the school she could talk to - a teacher she likes, the nurse, the school secretary, the head... anyone she feels she can trust.

If your child is insistent that you don’t complain, you should respect that decision.

What can the school do?

Your child’s school might already be using strategies to:

confront the bullying behaviour and make it clear that it will not be tolerated.


hold class discussions on bullying and regularly promote values which reject bullying and reward good behaviour


create a ‘bully box’ for pupils to put in notes about being bullied


get an outside body such as Kidscape to work with the school on anti-bullying strategies.




What can I do if the school doesn’t take it seriously?

Occasionally, you may feel that school staff are not doing enough. If that is the case write to the school’s Parent Governor or Board of Governors.

You should also get information from an outside body, such as Kidscape. They will not get involved with the school unless asked to directly.

Your final option is to change your child’s school. Sometimes this is the only solution that has a lasting effect.

However, if at all possible you should work with the school, so that the problem is solved, not evaded.

How can I help my child?

One of the best ways to support your child is to arm them with strategies to deal with bullying behaviour. Then they have something concrete to work with. Try these:

tell them that the best way to thwart a bully is to ignore the taunts and walk away. Role play doing this with your child as the bully, you as the victim, and then change roles


think about why your child is being bullied. Is it because she needs to develop new social skills? Help her make new friends and build up her confidence