Bullying

Many children’s lives are made miserable by bullying. Being bullied may wreak havoc with your child’s self-esteem. Sometimes it leaves life-long emotional scars.

What is bullying?

Bullying is any behaviour which intends to hurt another person physically or emotionally. It includes not only the more obvious actions like punching and kicking, name-calling and teasing, but also spreading rumours, pointing out physical handicaps, shouting racial taunts, excluding victims from groups, humiliating, or spreading stories that a child wants to keep private.

The effects of bullying

A bullied child may:

become withdrawn, or insecure


feel guilty that they have brought this on themselves - perhaps that there issomething wrong with them rather than the bully


occasionally feel suicidal or even try to commit suicide


try to harm their tormentors.


crying before sleep





If he or she is being bullied, your child may:

be reluctant to go to school, or take a different route without a plausible reason


begin to bully his siblings and their friends


become aggressive, rude or disobedient


cry himself to sleep, wet the bed or have nightmares


find it hard to work at school


stop eating


start to stammer




Also watch out for

missing or damaged equipment, clothing, or personal possessions


frequent ‘lost’ money





Who is a bully?

There are many different reasons why children start bullying. It could be because they have personal problems and don’t know how to express their unhappiness; sometimes they are being bullied themselves. There’s also another sort of bully: the over-indulged child who has been used to getting his or her own way, often through bad behaviour.

Who gets bullied?

Bullies pick on children who are fun to hurt (because they react to it) or who seem to be easy prey (perhaps because they are smaller, weaker or have something different about them). Children who are bullied often have low self-esteem and desperately want to be liked. Some self-confident children often do not allow themselves to be bullied. Teaching your child to act assertively may help her from becoming a victim of bullying.

How can I talk to my child about it?.

If you think that your child is being bullied, ask him or her directly, but don’t be surprised if they deny it initially. Let them know that you are there when they want to talk.

Reassure your child that it’s not their fault.

Listen actively and non-judgemen-tally. Your child should be able to speak freely and believe that you are taking him or her seriously.

How can my child overcome bullying?

For example:

Bullies pick on children who are alone, so can you encourage your child to make more friends and to bring them home? Think about his interests and any different groups he can join.

Work out ways with your child to avoid the situations where the bullying occurs. It’s better that you don’t become too protective - by driving him to school, for example, instead of taking the bus. Bullies may see this as a sign of weakness.

Try a role-play of what has happened, you as the victim, your child as the bully. Show him how to respond calmly and firmly.

Show your child how to walk away without reacting, time after time.

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