How your Relationships Affect Your Weight

We hypnotherapists get a bad rap sometimes. We're supposed to just click our fingers and magically make people do things that they wouldn't normally do in a pink fit. Sometimes I do get almost magical results with my clients in a very short time. Other times, the process can take a little longer. Let's take weight loss for example:

Many people believe that a person can be hypnotised to 'switch off' the cravings for 'bad foods'. Sometimes they can, especially if the person is emotionally stable and happy with their lives. Do I believe that a person can receive one treatment for weight loss and never have to return again? Yes. It has happened in my practise many times. Do I believe this is the case with everybody? No. In fact, years of experience treating clients for weight loss has taught me a few things.

That is why I never proclaim to be able to 'fix' a person in one session. The reason why I won't do this is because I cannot in good faith provide a guarantee and still maintain my integrity as a therapist. You see, we are all complex individuals, and in my experience there are many personal and emotional reasons that come into play when a person is not doing what they need to do. When I asses my clients' needs, these are the three questions I ask:

* Are you ready to change your behaviour?

* Do you feel you have the inner resources to make this change?

* How are your relationships going?

Whether you want to lose weight, quit smoking or stop drinking, you need to examine what is going on in your own life that contributes to the stress you are experiencing, because the level of stress in your life is a major player in the equation. I always begin by examining my clients' significant relationships, simply because these take up a lot of our time and effort; so it makes perfect sense that when these aren't working, many other elements of our lives stop working for us too.

For example, maybe you are married to a person who is emotionally abusive towards you. If you are, then don't underestimate how much energy it takes to be around such a person 24/7. This was happening to my client 'Linda'. She had gained several kilos over the last 10 years, and couldn't seem to shake them. She had tried everything possible, but to no avail. When we talked about her marriage, we discovered that 'Linda' was experiencing major power struggles with her husband. Every ounce of her energy was taken up in fighting with her partner.

Of course, what this translates to in terms of weight loss is 'I just cannot be bothered'. The energy it consumes to maintain and exist in a toxic relationship is enormous, and because of this, there is no energy left for the pursuit of good health. 'Linda' felt emotionally battered, and overeating was her way of softening the blow.

How do you get along with the people you spend most of your time with? Is there conflict, anger or fear? Losing weight can be difficult when you are surrounded by negativity - especially if there is somebody in your life who criticises your weight. Scratch below the surface. Get to know yourself and understand what causes you grief. When you find out, then you will know what you need to change. For 'Linda' it was the ability to assert herself during conflict and recognize herself as a valid human being who deserves health and happiness. What is it for you?

Whether you are overeating, drinking too much or simply not making the effort to exercise, there is usually a reason and it is NOT because you are lazy. Clean up your relationships. Get rid of the dead wood and take stock of those in your life. If you feel unable to leave a relationship for whatever reason, then work on the way you respond to the other person's behaviour. Remember: we teach other people how to treat us.

Who adds value to your life? Who does not? As you discover this you will be able to make profound positive changes in your life which will in turn enable you to look after yourself on every level. You DO matter.