Why Can't I Look Like That?

The struggle to attain physical perfection is a thorn in our side and one that creeps up on us slowly. Here's how the story goes: you wake up feeling fantastic. You look in the mirror and you like what you see. And indeed why shouldn't you? After all, you have been working really hard over the last few months. You have been eating healthy low fat meals, watching your portion sizes and you haven't missed a day at the gym. You are very proud of what you have achieved. Your eyes are sparkling, your skin is toned and bright and you feel fitter and healthier that you have felt in a very long time.

So you put on your new outfit and you go out to greet the world. Maybe you go off to the shopping mall for a look around. Maybe down to the beach for a refreshing dip. So many places, so little time.....and that's when it happens. Suddenly, out of the blue you see her: she is tall, tanned and stunning. You look her up and down, hoping to find at least one flaw - but alas...you are left empty handed. Zero cellulite and no makeup. You want to curl up and cry.

Who IS this girl?? You don't know her name and the truth is you don't need to. You've seen her many times before, or at least other versions of her in many forms over many years. She always shows up when you least expect it - turning up to crush your soul and take away your happiness. Her mere presence confirms what you have secretly known all along: that you that you're not quite so beautiful after all; that you will never be beautiful enough.

But of course you know it's not this girl that is the problem; the problem is and has always been inside your mind. You see, no matter how beautiful we think we look, there will always be somebody else who looks more beautiful. This is one of the facts that causes many beautiful, normal and intelligent women of all ages to lose their bearings and become slaves to the myth we continually buy into: the myth that our entire existence should and does rely on how we look. That unless we are physically perfect, we have no right to exist.

Consumerism tells us we must strive for physical perfection - it makes a lot of money by playing on our insecurities. It tells us that eternal youth is the supreme currency and that nothing else matters. And we buy into it - literally! Time and time again we compare ourselves to that impossibly youthful and skinny (digitally enhanced) image (often portrayed by a 15 year old model) that we can never achieve.

So where's the solution? The solution is inside you - your self esteem. True self esteem is the ability to accept yourself no matter what the situation and no matter who is around you. It is about recognizing yourself as a whole entity, not just a physical body. When other people observe you, they see the whole you, not just your bottom or your thighs or your cellulite. Whether you believe the media's messages about how you should look or not, know and understand this: you will never ever be happy as long as you insist on comparing yourself to other people. No matter what you do, where you live or who you are, there will always be someone younger, prettier, smarter or richer.

So instead of becoming a bitter and twisted old crone like the one in 'Sleeping Beauty' (or was it 'Snow White'?), why not refuse to play the game? There's no written law that says you have to be a part of the madness. Be the best you can be and take the pressure off yourself. Everybody gets old. Ageing, sickness and death are inevitable. Fat or thin, pretty or not so pretty, we are all going to wrinkle up, stoop over and dribble in our sleep. So rather than struggling to 'fight' the natural ageing process, instead strive to find you. I assure you it is much easier and a whole lot more interesting.