A List Of Inventions I'm Waiting For

This is a personal list of inventions I am waiting to see produced. Make them real and you'll have at least one customer.

1. Air conditioned jacket. I noticed one hot day that the fan didn't cool me nearly as well when I was shirt-less as when I wore a jacket or shirt and let the fan blow into it. This directed the cooling breeze all around my torso and arms (the air escapes out the bottom, collar and sleeves). A jacket with a small battery-operated fan would do the same thing. Wear a wet t-shirt underneath and the circulating air would make it downright chilly in there.

2. A money sanitizer. Viruses and more are spread by the handling of bills. A simple machine, using either heat or a disinfecting agent, could make those bills safe to handle.

3. Artificial foot soles. Hikers and backpackers get blisters from friction. Feet slide and move in shoes and get "hot spots" that become blisters. The solution? Insoles that are glued to the bottom of your feet. These might be made of felt or some other material. This product would need a solvent for easy removal. Perhaps they could be reused, gluing and removing them repeatedly, like dentures are used.

4. Morbid soda. There are those who like the darker side of things. Why not have soft drinks with plastic animal embryos in them? Make them too large to come out of the bottle, to prevent choking.

5. Fully padded snow sleds. Sledding can be painful and dangerous. The solution may be to fully pad a sled, and provide some kind of safety harness, so even after flipping over the rider can remain uninjured.

6. Television goggles. We put headphones on to listen to music wherever we go. Why not have goggles that have a television screen inside them?

7. Insult toilet paper. Who do you want to use and flush down the toilet? Politicians would probably be well represented on the list of faces printed on this toilet paper.

8. Tiny poetry books. These mini-books would be ideal for attaching to bottles of wine, as a romantic novelty. They could also be sold with bouquets of roses, and boxes of chocolates.

9. Kites for boats. Sail boats are complicated, with their masts, booms, and keels. What if you want a simple way to propel your canoe or rowboat across that lake, using the wind? A large kite could be the answer. Make it like a para-sail, and it would be light to carry and simple to use.

(This is really a partial list of inventions I want to see made. There are many more things I am waiting for, from flying bicycles to in-the-home grocery stores.)