Romatic Rendez-Vous Or Reconnoiter?

By Theolonius McTavish, currently a ribald roving reporter (with an abiding interest in arcane topics like curiosis, odd, if not downright postively playful placenames), and a part-time errant carpet knight (left-over from a previous lifetime)

Valentine’s Day is rolling around again. What would February 14th be without all those wretched little red, cinnamon-flavored candy hearts and calorie-laden chocolate candy kisses.

Well, if you’re not into “sweet nothings”, maybe a “hot” vacation might do the trick. If so, you’ve got plenty to choose from in North America.

For the benefit of mapless folk North America includes the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and that cold comfort country (on the other side of the 49th parallel, just a tad due south of Santa's hangout at the North Pole -- an off-the-beaten track place) called, "Canada".

A quick peek at any road atlas or an on-line atlas (see below) will whet your appetite for a sizzling “Voluptuous Vixen” and “Rudolph Valentino” rendez-vous away from the madding crowds.

Let’s see, my list of romantic reconnoitering spots includes these humdingers.

They may look a tad over-the-top, but I’ll have you know these little gems actually exist.

Bella Bella (British Columbia – Canada)
Bigger (Saskatchewan – Canada)
Bird-In-Hand (Pennsylvania)
Bliss Landing (British Columbia – Canada)
Blue Ball (Pennsylvania)
Bummerville (California)
Camelot (Texas); Camelot Beach (Ontario – Canada)
Climax (Colorado, Minnesota, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Saskatchewan - Canada)
Clo-oose (British Columbia – Canada)
Cockeysville (Maryland)
Comfort (Texas)
Conception (Missouri)
Conception Bay (Newfoundland & Labrador)
Cupids (Newfoundland & Laborador)
Dildo (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Dixville (Quebec – Canada)
Dropmore (Manitoba – Canada)
Eden (Texas)
Fannie (Arkansas)
Fanny Bay (British Columbia – Canada)
Fertile (Saskatchewan – Canada)
French Lick (Indiana)
Garden of Eden (Nova Scotia – Canada)
Glasscock (Texas)
Goochland (Virginia)
Groom (Texas)
Halfway (Texas)
Happy and Happy Union (Texas)
Heart’s Content, Heart’s Delight, Heart’s Desire (all in Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Hitchland (Texas)
Holdfast (Saskatchewan – Canada)
Hoo Hoo (West Virginia)
Hoop & Holler (Texas)
Intercourse (Alabama, Pennsylvania)
Kinkora (Prince Edward Island – Canada)
Kissimmee (Florida)
Little Paradise (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Little Heart’s Ease (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Little Seldom (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Lolita (Texas)
Love Ladies (New Jersey)
Lovelock (Nevada, Utah)
Loving (Texas)
Matador (Texas)
Needmore (Texas)
Nippers Harbour (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Nuttsville (Virgina)
Ochiichagwebabigoining (Ontario – Canada -- if anybody can pronounce this one, let me know!)
Ogle (Kentucky)
Paradise (Nova Scotia – Canada)
Peel (New Brunswick – Canada)
Plum Boulee (Manitoba – Canada)
Point Comfort (Texas)
Red Head Cove (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Ripples (New Brunswick – Canada)
Romeoville (Illinois)
Sackville (New Brunswick)
Sexsmith (Alberta – Canada)
Shag Harbour (Nova Scotia – Canada)
Smackover (Arkansas)
Smuts (Saskatchewan – Canada)
Snag (Yukon Territory – Canada)
Snooks Arm (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Snug Harbour (Ontario – Canada)
Spread Eagle (Wisconsin)
Sugar Tit (South Carolina)
Sweet Bay (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Sweet Lips (Tennessee)
Tickle Cove (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Tiger Lily (Alberta – Canada)
Toogood Arm (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada)
Trophy Club (Texas)
Truth or Consequences (New Mexico)
Valentine (Nebraska, Texas)
Wink (Texas)
Wolfe City (Texas)
Yum Yum (Tennessee)

Now the real question is, just how many folks really admit to residing in these “hot” little communities, and how many just visit to regale their friends with titillating trivia at the next “show and tell” Valentine’s party?

-- May the Power of the Pucker Be With You and Your's On This Auspicious Occasion! --