Time To Call A Divorce Lawyer?

Marriages aren’t always easy and many couples may think about calling on a divorce lawyer to end theirs. Sometimes this is a wise choice but other times it may be better to work through the difficulties. Dating may be fun, falling in love even better, but marriage has its good points and more challenging ones. Any time two people live in the same space, share a budget and child rearing duties, there are bound to be rough spots. When bumps in the road arise, is it better to end it or persevere? Here are some things to think about:

The 80/20 Rule: A good rule of thumb about long-term relationships, jobs or any situation that may arise is to see how the 80/20 rule applies. The 80/20 rule is that a situation is a “keeper” if at least 80% of it is positive. Nothing’s perfect and if a good eighty percent is sweet, that’s a pretty good ratio. List the pros and cons and if the pro list is fairly lengthy, the situation is probably still viable. The list length matters, but so do the weight of the items on the list. If the positives include that the spouse is an excellent parent, income producer and makes you laugh because of their joke telling ability, those are pretty substantial and weighty traits to consider. If their negative qualities include leaving their dirty socks in piles on the floor, bad breath or forgetfulness, those are fairly minor and might not warrant a marital split. If the only positives, however, are attractive looks and a clean car while the negatives include addictions and abusive language, it may be time to hit the road. Let the 80/20 rule help you make a decision.

Counseling may help: Couples counseling may help recalibrate the relationship. Sometimes people get into patterns and develop blind spots that they can’t seem to see it without the help of a third party. It’s never wise to leave a relationship without some therapy as a couple in order to get some clarity. If the marriage does end, it would be wise to have solo counseling in order to clean up your own tendencies before getting into another relationship.

Financial considerations: Marriage is a business arrangement as well as a love connection. Both spouses should consider the financial ramifications of a split before throwing in the towel. Okay, the spouse may be imperfect but living with the stress of impending homelessness isn’t much fun either. Crunching some numbers may make both spouses want to try a bit harder.

Gratitude journaling: Sometimes a couple is so focused on the minuses that they overlook the plusses. Daily journaling of the things that are “right” about their spouse can completely shift their perspective. Sharing that gratitude list with their hubby or wife can make their spouse feel appreciated and in turn change the channel on the marriage.

No relationship is perfect and the longer the couple has been together; the more unsavory patterns may have become established. A bit of light thrown onto the picture may illuminate the good in the marriage or may give a clear answer of the need to call a divorce lawyer.