Finding a Good Marriage Counselor
A good marriage counselor can be very helpful. Working on the issues in your marriage may seem simple but sometimes it is helpful to have an objective marriage counselor to assist you. A good marriage counselor will give you tools and techniques to improve your communication and help you deal with your problems in a healthy way. Seeing a marriage counselor can make you feel like you have hope for a happy marriage. A marriage counselor knows how to help couples facing money issues, issues with their sex life and other issues that couples often face and can help you overcome your problems.
Top Three Reasons to Look for a Marriage Counselor:
1. To allow you to better deal with the strong emotions that are associated with problems in a marriage.
If you and your partner are able to cope with the emotions that problems in your marriage bring, to work towards a resolution to your problems and you have the tools to do this than you probably would not get a lot out of seeing a marriage counselor. Couples really need to try to work out their issues themselves first before seeing a marriage counselor. If you and your partner need help dealing with issues in your marriage, though, you should see a marriage counselor because the issues are not going to go away on their own.
What Should You Look for in a Marriage Counselor?
You can simply open up the phone book for your local area and choose a marriage counselor if you want to. You could also get a recommendation from a trusted religious leader or your doctor. The best way to find a marriage counselor is to talk to a friend or family member that has used a marriage counselor and has a much better relationship now. Not everyone is willing to talk about their experiences with a marriage counselor, though, so this is not always easy to do.
However you go about selecting a marriage counselor it is important to choose wisely so you get someone that can really help you. The marriage counselor needs to be someone who you and your partner can be comfortable with so you both need to have input into the choice of the marriage counselor.
It is important to make sure any marriage counselor you select has the right credentials including a license and certification in family and marriage counseling.
Your marriage counselor should have a current license in the mental health field. The majority of marriage counselors have a certificate and license in marriage and family therapy. Every state has their own rules for licensing therapists and counselors. Marriage counselors in most states have to have a Master or Doctorate degree of some sort, must have done training during graduate school in marriage and family therapy and must have worked under experienced therapists for the required amount of time. A marriage counselor has the option of becoming licensed with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) which has its own specific requirements for membership.
A marriage counselor can set up their own office or they can operate out of a health clinic, hospital, or a government organization. Your doctor may be able to recommend a good marriage counselor for you to work with or you can ask people you know if they have any recommendations. Other sources for a marriage counselor recommendation include your insurance company, a religious leader or local government organizations. Or you can just open up the phone book and look there.
When you are looking for a marriage counselor you will want to be sure to ask potential therapists the right questions.
Here are some questions you should ask:
What licenses and certifications do you hold and what professional organizations are you affiliated with?
How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost?
In most cases, you and your partner will be responsible for part if not all of the cost of the marriage counselor. What types of rates can you expect from a marriage counselor? You can pay anything from $50 to $200 for a session with a marriage counselor but the average price per hour is close to $100. The average couple will spend about 3 months in therapy, meeting with their marriage counselor weekly so the process will probably end up costing close to $1200. This is the average cost of therapy for most couples. Depending on how severe your issues are, though, you could meet with your counselor weekly for as long as a year or two. This could mean spending as much as $10,000 on the therapy but it is a small price to pay if you avoid a divorce.
If you put the cost of a marriage counselor in perspective by looking at how important to you mentally and emotionally to have a happy marriage than it doesn't seem so expensive after all. You will get more satisfaction from a happy marriage than you would with material goods you could buy with the same money. Actually, people often start working together better and improve their financial situation after they learn how to communicate by seeing a marriage counselor.
It will be up to you and your partner to determine when you are ready to stop seeing the marriage counselor.
Often, men are anxious to stop seeing the marriage counselor as soon as possible even if the therapy sessions were their idea. Sometimes men resent the fact that the marriage counselor is telling them what to do and making sure they are following through. Some men go along with the marriage counselor only as long as they have to to make their wives happy and after the therapy sessions are over they are back to behaving the way they were before the therapy.
If you think that your partner is likely to behave this way, you should not stop seeing the marriage counselor until both of you feel you have made significant progress. It may be a good idea to go see the marriage counselor less often but not stop all together. Seeing a marriage counselor can do wonders for your relationship!
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