How Can I Stop My Divorce? - Use The First Rule Of Holes, Stop Digging
When someone asks "how can I stop my divorce" it almost always is a crisis situation. Do not panic as that will just make things worse. This quick guide can help you stop divorce and save your marriage. Take a deep breath and read on.
Unfortunately, it often takes hold of you by the throat.
The pressures of work, school, kids, the house, even the in-laws can work against a blissful marriage.
These pressures often result in short fuses, things said you later regret and arguments in every shape and size. Maybe one of you has gotten to the point where you do not even care enough about the marriage to argue.
Let us take a look at where you are now as we try to stop divorce from happening. Did you file the papers and now regret it? If so, now is the time to put the proceedings on hold and enter damage control mode.
If your spouse is the one who filed for divorce then start out by doing whatever you can to remain calm. Refuse to start an argument or to participate in one. If you keep your voice and manner calm then it usually will encourage your partner to.
You can find common ground with your spouse by admitting that things are not going well, you are not happy that they are not going well and that you certainly accept at least partial blame for the problems in the marriage.
If you are serious in asking "how can I stop my divorce" then you need to be ready to pull out all the stops, put other things in your life on hold, and make stopping divorce your number one priority.
This means that maybe for the first time in your marriage it is your marriage and your spouse who are the most important and not your job (level with your boss and ask for some slack), not the kids (they need a stable home life as much as anything) and certainly not your friends or hobbies.
Offer to set aside a time and place where the two of you can discuss things calmly, rationally and without being interrupted.
If your spouse agrees to this, that is a great indication that you may well be able to stop your divorce from happening. Do not mess up the opportunity!
When you do sit down to discuss your marriage, make sure that your ears get more of a workout than your mouth. In other words, LISTEN! Do not just sit there and wait for your turn to talk.
I find that having a notepad and pen handy to take notes is a great way to:
1) show how serious you are about changing the situation
2) keep track of any promises you make
3) slow things down, keep the tone calm and prevent arguing
Saving your marriage will be a lot of work and does not end once the divorce papers have been torn up. A healthy marriage is a life long process.
The key is to stop doing those things that are hurting your marriage like being selfish or not putting your marriage at the top of your priority list. I liken this to the first rule of holes - stop digging!
Instead you want to start doing what will build a strong relationship. Usually that means making some adjustments in your life and your priorities.
I know this is hard and I would never expect you to figure out all the steps on your own. Find out more specifics to answer your question: how can I stop my divorce? Use strategies that have already been found effective by people going through the same thing you are.
Get the complete toolbox of marriage saving strategies specially designed for your situation. Come to http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com and let us help you get started immediately.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
It is often an emergency situation when you ask how can I stop my divorce. Get 911 marriage assistance at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com.
Mr. Scott has enjoyed assisting people with relationship and marriage issues for many years now. Please note that he may occasionally receive some form of compensation when recommending other experts services or products.