Relationship Rehab Coach

How to Attract a Man – Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places

Why you may be looking for love in the wrong places and how to find the perfect mate!

Throughout my coaching journey, I have certainly encountered various quandaries. However, one that continually seems to be at the forefront is how to attract the right mate. This is especially true for women who have recently ended a relationship or perhaps have experienced several failed relationships. Personally, I believe that many people terminate their troubled relationship prematurely and, in the process, fail to learn anything from it. You see, whether you save a relationship or end it, there is always something to be learned. In this case, the lesson is to determine why you’ve attracted an unsuitable mate in the first place. Yes, in accordance with universal law, love can only be experienced through the power of attraction. Unfortunately, many folks not only attract love, but they also attract a partner with qualities that are less than desirable. This is not always apparent at first, but, before long, the man that seemed to be Prince Charming turns out to be a frog – a dysfunctional one at that! Bottom line, to attract the right mate, you must become the very thing you desire. When asked to list the qualities of their perfect partner, most women would respond with the following:

Attractive

Compassionate

Trustworthy

Caring

Understanding

Kind

Generous

Confident

Romantic

OK! So, here’s the bad news; if you’re not confident, trustworthy, understanding and kind, you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell of attracting a partner that is!

Now, here’s the good news; I’m going to tell you how to make that transformation. But, before we get to that, let’s talk about looking for love in all the wrong places.

You see, many of my clients often ask my opinion on dating sites. And, while I’ve never really considered that to be a viable option, I decided to explore them a bit further. So, being a single guy, I decided to conduct an experiment. A while back, I set up a profile on one of the top sites and went to work on my research. Quickly, I began to get a bead on the types of folks that use these sites. I encountered foreign women looking for a marriage ticket to the U.S. I also encountered some bitter and angry folks and of course many that were just looking for meaningless sexual encounters. However, most prevalent were the wounded and hurt souls who were apprehensive about even initiating a conversation. I found this to be sad, but it also confirmed that looking for your mate on dating sites truly is the equivalent of looking for love in all the wrong places. Think about it! If you’re not at a point in your life that you have the confidence to carry on a meaningful conversation with a potential partner, you have some internal work to do. To further substantiate my conclusion, most of these people wrote taglines like “looking for someone to complete me” and “looking for someone to make me happy!”  Well, to put it bluntly, if you’re not complete or happy by your lonesome, no one else will ever be able to fulfill those needs. Therefore, if you remain wounded, what are the prospects of attracting anything over and above that? You see, it all begins with you!

If you’d like to attract a mate that has the qualities we outlined above, you’re going to have to transform yourself from the inside out. You can start with setting boundaries and adopting a set of principles. You must overcome your self-limiting beliefs by putting a stop to the dysfunctional behavior that surrounds you. It also requires establishing your personal identity and taking back your personal power. Far too often, women sacrifice themselves and their own passions so that other may follow theirs. This is like throwing oneself under a bus and expecting to come out the other side an unscathed hero! At the end of the day, a partner will only treat you as well as you treat yourself – period!

But, that brings us back to looking for love in all the right places! Love is like a magnet, and if you become love, it will be attracted to you. Consequently, your transformation is first and foremost. However, it’s not likely that a soul mate will magically appear on your doorstep, so you’re going to have to get yourself out there. Begin by examining your own likes and interests. Do you like business networking events, exercising or attending workshops? Do you like music, theater or fine arts? These are all wonderful interests which provide great venues for showcasing your self. Moreover, it tips the scales in favor of attracting a like-minded partner who shares similar interests. But, don’t chase love or try to force it. Expect that it will show up, and, low and behold, it will! 

One last piece of advice; sometimes we block love out on a subconscious level. In other words, we send out an energetic wave that tells the universe we’re not ready for love. This comes in many forms. Perhaps we’re still holding on to past hurts, or we have subconsciously decided that we can’t have love until we get a better job, lose a few pounds or take care of a family member. If the perfect mate continues to elude, it would behoove you to examine this very closely.

Good luck and great love,

David Roppo

The Relationship Rehab Coach

To learn more about how to save a relationship or attract your soul mate, subscribe to my free e-course below……

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