Have you been riding the emotional roller coaster? Does your partner turn his love on and off like a light switch? Does he liberate you from a particular behavior then repeat the pattern all over again?
Why does this happen, and how can you remove yourself from the emotional ride of your life?
A relationship crisis can be an extremely emotional situation, which often is exacerbated by one of the partners entrapping the other on an emotional roller coaster. Generally, this behavior is inadvertent, and is caused by the very self-limiting beliefs that are at the root of the crisis. The fears and insecurities that are generated by these negative beliefs cause patterns of self-sabotaging behavior. Although the relationship is in crisis some of the necessary emotional needs are being fulfilled, which is why a partner will continue to cling to certain aspects of the relationship. You see, on one hand they cherish and love certain qualities of the relationship, and on the other their own self-limiting beliefs prevent them from moving beyond that point! The following situations are some of the common precursors to the emotional roller coaster:
1. Continuing an affair at their partners expense with the premise that they are getting all of their needs completely fulfilled by two different partners!
2. Leading their partner on verbally, only to end the relationship when their partner gets to close or becomes to intimate.
3. Distancing themselves from their partner because of a fear of intimacy, whereby making an advance only if their partner threatens to end the relationship.
4. Controlling or manipulating their partner as a result of their own fear of abandonment, but using love and affection as a tool to draw their partner back when threatened with the loss of the relationship.
There are many different scenarios that can result in an emotional roller coaster, although all of them will ultimately end in disaster if left unchecked! Supporting and enabling such behavior can and will result in the emotional ride of your life with no end in site! You will not, I repeat you will not save your relationship by allowing such behavior! Sometimes the best thing you can do in a situation like this is just step back! Refer to my free e-guide below to draft a statement of agreement, which you can present to your partner to stop the coaster in its tracks! Send your partner a subtle message that you are not going to tolerate his behavior, and remove yourself from the roller coaster. Do not feed into their power play! In the event that your partner has been unfaithful and has refused to cease his behavior, you will be faced with a more difficult situation. In order to end the infidelity roller coaster you will need to demonstrate to your partner that continuing such behavior is unacceptable. However, if your partner has continued with the affair for some time with your adverse consent, it would be nearly impossible to give him an ultimatum without ending the relationship. Therefore, you will need to take a more subtle approach to end this unfaithful roller coaster.
The Relationship Rehab Coach
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