Marriage Therapists: Saving The Relationship

Marriage therapists can help couples salvage their relationship by focusing them on the happier times of the past. Returning to times when small gestures fostered warm feelings helps build a stable platform for fixing the bigger problems.

There is a reason the two of you got together and made a commitment to each other. All too often, life gets in the way and makes us forget what that reason was and it has become all too easy to simply dissolve the relationship when things go wrong. It is no accident that half of all marriages end in divorce. However, with the help of marriage therapists, it is possible to salvage an existing relationship and heal the rift.

Using an approach called solution-based therapy, the marriage therapists will not focus on the fighting and the problems that have brought you into the office. The key is to focus on what made the both of you happy together. What did your husband do for you that made you smile and vice versa? Remember that at one time, you liked each other and this type of therapy gets you back to that stage of like and love.

Marriage is tough-it is something that is a daily work in progress. When you allow the fights and the problems to shadow the good times, you lose sight of who you are as a couple. Your life becomes all about the problems. Marriage therapists refocus your attention on the little things you did for each other that showed you loved and respected each other.

It doesn't have to be grand gestures. It can simply be that your husband used to open the car door for you or maybe your wife used to pack your lunch for work.

No matter how small a gesture, you notice when it stops and you take it personally. This kind of negative feeling builds and adds fuel to the more serious issues in the relationship. By remembering the warm feelings that were created by these small acts, you can return to behaviors that are kind instead of negative. Take baby steps-open the door for her and fix him a nice turkey club for lunch.

The theory is that by remembering the past and reenacting the things that made you happy as a couple, it fosters positive feelings and more productive communication to work through the serious issues. Though this approach does not fix the big problems, it does smooth out the path. The tension in the air is relieved and you are in a mood to speak with respect to each other instead of yelling and accusing.

Marriage therapists are trained to help you save the relationship you have worked so hard to build. If you can come together and agree to return to behaviors that endeared you to each other, you are a huge step to making the relationship work. Your relationship is not a lost cause if you can find some happiness in the past to hold on to.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR