A Career Coach's Mini-Confession

These are the things I have discoveredabout myself, my values and my ownethics in advising someone in the jobsearch.

1. This person has had no job history that has not been menial or beneath her capabilities. She is now close to being 50 years old.

2. I counseled her for three visits as we discussed her past and future. She did not appear to "buy into" the advice and information I was providing.

3. She is deeply religious and her decisions are based on being of service to others and to God.

4. She had been sexually abused as a child by a male family member.

5. She is probably going to be laid off from her current job and is negotiating with a new group in town to be a houseparent with two day and night shifts, working with women who have recently been released from incarceration.

6. My confession is this: I have had a similar type of job in my own job past and found that the stress involved in guiding individuals who are still troubled and often use an authority figure to test their own emootional limits, quite a measure of my own hardiness. I did not have that job for very long.

7. I did not tell my "counselee" about the pitfalls in taking and enduring in the job she is contemplating. My own best self told me that she will probably not listen to my tale of experience from my past. And, it would be presumptious of me to equate my experience with her possible reactions to this new job.

8. The best thing I did do with her was to listen and validate her as a person. I believe that she is capable of evaluating her own experience in light of her up- bringing and life

9. My FEAR is that I did not do enough for her to orient her toward new beginnings for future work. Another FEAR of mine is that she will continue to look for ways to de-value yourself. I think she is a candidate for intensive therapy, which is not my role in working with her.

10. The final part of my confession is that I did my best as I felt it and as it played itself out with both of us.