Jon Daniels

Are Love And Low Self-Esteem Connected?

I know I am the last person in the world to be discussing love. I know I am lucky to have found love. I got the girl of my dreams after all so I cannot be totally ignorant to the subject. What does interest me is how an interpretation by an individual could be connected to self-esteem.

I did some research using this internet thing and found there are 6 styles of love.

First up, there is Eros. These are the people who enjoy the physical passion and romantic nature of a relationship. These highly sensual people want that fairy tale story of love at first sight.

Next are the Ludus, those people who see love as a game to win. It is all about the conquest. Quantity not quality. Love is about overcoming challenges and having fun.

Then there is the slow and steady type, the Storge. These are people who like to make friends first and see how things develop. It is important to find things in common.

The Pragma follow their heads and not their hearts. Finding love to them is liking going shopping, carefully choosing exactly what they desire in a partner

Then come the Mania. These are the obsession and volatile lovers. A relationship is a symbol of happiness to them and it is important that the world sees this as some sort of justification in being a successful human being.

Finally there is the Agape. These are the motherly lovers who see their role to sacrifice their own happiness in order to avoid causing pain for their partner.

So are any of these styles connected to low self-esteem? The Eros live in a fantasy world where there will be a happy ending and the Ludos are the alpha males and females of this world. Neither are likely to be suffering from low self-esteem. Life is about fun to these people.

The Storge and Pragma are all about logic where the danger is a lack of passion or seeing sex as a process rather than a sign of love. Again no self-esteem issues, just a case of needing to let go every now and again and doing things for no good reason.

Then we come to the Mania and Agape. Both are connected to low self-esteem in my opinion.

Both of these styles carry the danger of over reliance. They become so obsessed with making their partners happy that they lose their own identify thus creating low self-esteem. Eventually these people become sad and frustrated as they feel trapped living someone elses life and not the one they dream of.

So which love style sounds like you?

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