It takes a small child to make us see sense ... 7-year old daughter loves school and on the daysthat I collect her, I always greet her with,"Hi ... how are you?"And nine times out of t
It takes a small child to make us see sense sometimes. My 7-year old daughter loves school and on the days that I collect her, I always greet her with,
"Hi Charlotte, how are you?"
And nine times out of ten she answers,
"Hi Daddy, I'm brilliant!"
It is impossible not to smile at such an open exhibition of enthusiasm. Her positivity is infectious.
Yet, like most adults, it took a while to dawn on me that I could learn something from my own child.
I was thinking about her when I met a business colleague the other day.
"Hello, Martin," he said as we automatically shook hands, "how are you?"
It was on the tip of my tongue to say "I'm fine", or, "not too bad" as I would normally respond. But instead, Charlotte's smiling face popped into my mind and I came back with,
"I'm brilliant, thank you. How are you?"
A flicker of confusion crossed his face as my unexpected response sank in. Then a big smile spread across this rather dour businessman's face and he said,
"You know, I'm feeling pretty brilliant too!"
We had a great meeting.
Charlotte's natural enthusiasm taught me a big lesson: that we go through life saying and hearing conditioned responses that really mean absolutely nothing. It is only when we break out of the expected that real communication occurs.
What do 'fine', 'okay', 'not too bad', 'all right', 'pretty good' and all the other non-responses really mean? Absolutely nothing. They mean nothing because the question that they answer usually means less than nothing.
'How are you', 'how're you doing', 'how's the family' are meaningless punctuation. Most often the person asking is not even looking at you - and rarely are they listening to your equally meaningless answer.
Yet, by hijacking that automatic question and giving a completely unexpected - and exciting answer - we can take control of a conversation. And more, force the other person to think positively of us.
I could have said 'marvellous' or 'first-class' or 'absolutely splendid' or any number of positive, energizing statements. But I liked Charlotte's choice.
It is certainly true that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Let your first impression in any meeting, be brilliant!
Martin Avis is a management and training consultant. To get your unfair advantage (and 6 free gifts) in Internet marketing, business and personal success, subscribe free to his weekly newsletter, BizE-zine. mailto:subscribe5@BizE-zine.com or visit his information-packed website at http://www.BizE-zine.com
