Feeing Better Right Now

Feeling better involves taking a series of steps. But a common problem I've had - and I've seen in many others - is they just want the success (whatever it is) without having to take the steps to get there. I call it the 'visualize winning the lottery' syndrome.

"I don't want to succeed - I just want the success." This mindset is universal and has been highly exploited by many advertising and marketing people.

"Get Rich Without Working!!"

"Lose Weight While You Sleep!!"

Lot of appeal in those statements, isn't there? I've fallen for those lines a few times myself. But let me tell you a simple and profound truth: the steps to getting there, are the qualities of being there. And the qualities of being there are the steps to getting there.

Succeeding = the steps to getting there.

Success = the qualities of being there.

The secret - if there is one - is to fall in love with the process of succeeding. Any success, large or small, involves a series of steps that could be viewed as a process. You start at the beginning - step by step - until you reach the conclusion. Then you either repeat the process or you move on to other successes and other processes.

Let's look at the particular success of feeling better. Emotional contentment. To feel good - to feel good about yourself and your life - to feel emotional contentment - involves a series of steps. It's a process.

It starts with an awareness of your current situation. Not in a judgmental, condemning way, but from a more objective, realistic viewpoint. Find the realness of your situation without interpreting that realness.

For example, I might be in pain. To me, that's real. But then I may also blame my pain on someone or something else. That's not real, and will prevent me from moving forward.

Find the realness. State the facts. With no taint; no twist of interpretation. Step one. Know where you are with as much clarity as possible. Most people will never get past this first step because of an arrogant refusal to see the reality of their situation.

But if you want to succeed - if you want the success of feeling better - you MUST find the realness. It's one of the steps to feeling better, and it's also one of the qualities of being there - of actually feeling better.

I want to carry my blame with me, all the way to the end of the process, but it will never happen. Instead, I need to find the allure of realness. I need to find the love of being real. I need to fall in love with being real.

I have to get to the point where I prefer to be real, as opposed to blaming (or whatever else may be standing in the way of my realness).

Clarity - awareness - crystal-clear perception of my current situation - is the first step to feeling better. It's also one of the qualities of a person who lives a life of feeling good. Often times, we want to just feel good, but we don't want to take the steps of getting to that point of feeling good.

So what's the answer? Well, first of all, just being aware of this trap. Seeing the realness of it. Finding the motivation to change. Taking a small step forward; maybe flirting with the idea of realness - trying it on like a new pair of shoes. Loving and accepting yourself for NOT being real up till now. And so forth.

See what we've got here? A process within a process! It may take a whole complete process just to complete step one of the larger process.

I want to feel better. But I'm stuck in blame or pity or whatever. And to even get to the realness of my situation I've got to take a series of steps.

What's common to all the steps no matter the unique situation? What's the glue that holds it all together? What will keep you moving forward?

Willingness. I might not be willing to let go of my pity. I might not be willing to even look at it in an honest manner. But I can be willing to someday be willing. I can be willing to acknowledge there is a problem.

I can be willing to be willing later on at some point in the future.

Find what you ARE willing to do to succeed. Start there. Find your current level of willingness.

Willingness is totally under your control.

You can have all of it you want.