How to Get and Maintain a Great/Positive Attitude to Life (Part One)

"Attitudes are the colours with which we paint the pictures of our own
story on the canvas of life."
- Craig Lock and my great buddy, Dr Andrew Eastcott
Gisborne, New Zealand

WHERE DO YOUR ATTITUDES COME FROM?

I believe that heredity (the genes that you inherit)
have some part in forming attitudes. However, most
important in shaping them, is the family environment,
especially in your early childhood: the impressionable
years up to the age of seven. Also critical are your
lifetime experiences and events (whether happy or
traumatic) in later years. What is happening in your
life today, yesterday and all those past years. There
are three areas of life in which your attitudes are formed.

1. A sense of BELONGING which is picked up before
birth. The "vibes" in the womb of the mother (hard
to be a father in this process) will determine whether
we are really wanted by the mother, and this can
determine our degree of security (or insecurity) in
later life. You sound just like a psychologist now, Craig.

2. Your sense of WORTH will be determined by your
immediate family in your early childhood. They instil in
you an inner sense of well-being and of being loved.
The role of mothers and fathers is critical in the
socialization process for the development of your
attitudes. Their expectations of you play a big part
in your life script.

3. Your sense of COMPETENCE will also originate in the
family environment. That is why it is very important to
praise and encourage children. If they are continually
reprimanded, children will feel that they can't ever
do things right. This then develops into the child
thinking, "I am a person of no worth who is no good
at anything." This attitude grows over time and can
be re-inforced in the working environment. Even
extremely competent business executives can feel
insecure on a personal level and have difficulty
in personal relationships.

DEVELOPING SUCCESS ATTITUDES

Golda Meier, an earlier Prime Minister of Israel,
was once asked what made Israel such a success
against the might of the united Arab armies. Israel,
as you most probably know, is a small country set
in the middle of a desert, with virtually no natural
resources and no wealth. Meier replied, "All that
my country has is the spirit of it's people. If the
people lost their spirit, not even the might of the
United States of America could save us." A right
attitude throughout the country overcame all the
odds and insurmountable difficulties throughout it's
turbulent history.

The top salesman for Bell telephones in America is
a quadriplegic. Although he can only blink his eyes
and open his mouth, his attitude and perseverance
have made him num-ber one. (Stanford University
after doing extensive research, said that all success
is 87.5% as a result of your attitudes. Your skills,
abilities and knowledge make up the other 12.5%).

HOW DO I GET THE RIGHT ATTITUDE?

1. Enlist the co-operation of a positive close friend
that you can confide in. Share your personal goals
and dreams. Ignore the "knockers" who will try to put
you down out of jealousy (the "tall poppy syndrome"
so prevalent here in New Zealand; but especially
Australia).

2. Seek out the right people (successful and
enthusiastic ones who have the right attitude). DON'T
NEGLECT YOUR OLD FRIENDS TO GET IDEAS; but
remember, your potential has nothing to do with
your ultimate performance.

3. Select a model to emulate or follow...who you
would like to be like? (Only if you are not happy
with the way you are.)

4. Learn from your mistakes. Daley Thompson, the
former great British athlete in the decathlon said...
"I will learn morethan any other experience from my
failures than my successes ."In his goal setting,
Thompson was content to grow slowly, because
slow growth is more solid, and he did it in small steps.

Look beyond your mistakes and savour successful
experiences. Don't feel embarrassed or uncomfortable
about your achievements. Make daily affirmations
to yourself that you are doing well and are on the right
track. Reward yourself for minor achievements, or
steps on the road to your bigger goals. Give yourself
credit, no matter how small your achievements,
because mental rewards will boost your motivation.
All rewards must come from within. This conditioning
will cultivate a positive attitude in you. (Just like
Pavlov's dogs were conditioned to salivate through
association of ideas.) I remember that from my studies
in psychology "many many moons" ago.

EXPECT SUCCESS:
Look forward to positive outcomes and rehearse
them in your mind, rather than anticipating failure.
Don't repeat bad experiences-our attitude ties us
down and limits us, so that mediocrity becomes our
destiny.

5. Make the most of any situation you find yourself in.
Try not to be anxious. Things will work out in the end.

6. Avoid self-pity. Resilient people don't feel sorry
for themselves too long. The person who wallows in
self-pity or bitterness, spends too much time on
introspection and not enough time plotting a
comeback.

7. Be persistent. Winning often means getting up
one more time than you have been knocked down.
Persevere and never give up.

8. Adapt to change and see it as a challenge
rather than as uncertain and frightening.

9. Always keep things in perspective. Because
our job is such a big part of our self image, a career
set-back can make us lose perspective. If you
become unemployed, don't see yourself as a failure,
but rather as having options and an opportunity to
pursue a new direction in your life.

and finally,

10. Believe in yourself, but trust in God .

YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY
and
YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR ALTITUDE