Dan Tisch

Knowing What You Want! New Lessons from Another Great-Niece.

Do you know what you want?  If you're like many people, may be even most people, in the middle part of life, the answer is probably no!

Do you know what you want?  If you're like many people, may be even most people, in the middle part of life, the answer is probably no!  Why might some of those reasons be?

1.  We don't spend a lot of time exploring the answer to the question.

2.  We don't dwell on the question because it's selfish.

3.  We know we will be disappointed so we don't ask.

4.  We've given up on trying to get the results.

5.  We have too many choices.

6.  What you think you want is really what society or someone else wants.

7.  We're afraid of the answer.

8.  We don't want to make the wrong choice.

9.  We are confused.

10.  We don't think we deserve it.

It wasn't always this way. 

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit my nephew and niece and my 2-year-old great-niece, Sloane, in Boston.  One of the things I noticed while playing with Sloane was that she was very clear about what she wanted.  She wanted her juice, she wanted her cereal, she wanted you to play with her but not to sit in her seat or the seat that mommy was going to sit in. One lesson that may be taken from this example is that there are times when being more like a two-year-old is beneficial even when we're 30 or 40 or 50 or 80 years older then that chronologically.

Now two-year-olds may have an easier time distinguishing what they want, but their ability to get what they want is pretty limited.  So let's say you know what you want.  What's stopping you from having what you want now?

1.  I'm afraid of failure.

2.  I'm too busy.

3.  I'm afraid of how the change will affect my life.

4.  I'm not willing to risk ___________ (fill in the blank).

5.  I don't know how to get it.

6.  I'm not good at doing what needs to be done.

7.  I can't afford it.

8.  I'll get to it after I do ____________ (fill in the blank).

Getting what you want is a process.

(1)   Getting clear about what you want.

(2)   Creating a plan to get from where you are to where you want to be.

(3)   Developing practices the will address those things that are stopping you and will produce the results you want.

Most of what a two-year-old gets is given to her by her support system. What is your support system for getting what you want?

If you are serious about making changes in your life to get more of what you want, it takes creating a relationship with a person or persons who will hold you accountable. If you can afford it, I strongly recommend that you hire a professional coach.

A professional coach will assist you to get clear about what you want, to create a plan designed specifically for you, and to develop those practices and structures that allow your intentions to become reality.

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