What is Self-Respect and How Does it Relate to Self-Esteem?

Adults are full of pre-conceived notions about the world. Since we have more experience and thus more opportunities to make judgments, we are quicker to judge and to jump to conclusions than are children. While having this life experience is valuable, children have a definite advantage in that their minds and hearts are naturally more open.

There's no question that today's world is more diverse than in the past. We are exposed to cultures, religions, ideas and philosophies that we may not have been even 20 years ago. This change can have a tremendous positive impact, but can also create tension. With each successive generation, diversity in our world only increases and children who are shown how to be patient and accept others will become more tolerant and compassionate.

Intolerance and prejudice have to be learned. For instance, we may hear a relative or neighbor generalizing about a different culture. We may have a bad experience with someone of a different faith. We may hear a classmate at school making fun of someone's sexual orientation.  Even if we don't pay too much attention to or don't agree with these prejudices, we can carry them with us and remember them, even if it's subconsciously. By teaching children early on to accept differences and to be curious yet respectful of others, they will have an advantage later on in life—accepting differences not only in others but in themselves.

Look at any school playground or club, and chances are you'll see children of all different races and religions playing together and interacting naturally. But look at groups of adults in a restaurant or a movie theater. How often do you see adults of different races or cultures sitting and socializing together? It does happen, but not nearly as often (or as naturally) as with children. For some adults, work or public spaces are the only places they experience diversity (because they are forced to), and this is unfortunate. What happens to us between childhood and adulthood that makes us afraid to step outside of our own world, and sometimes even causes us to become intolerant or prejudiced? Is it what we hear others say? Is it behavior we see demonstrated at work or at school?

While children may not be blind to the fact that others look different or practice another religion, they tend to regard these differences with innocent curiosity. They are at this point free from learned prejudices. They are simply interested in others and don't seem to take differences terribly seriously. Kids may ask their parents questions like "Why does my friend go to synagogue instead of church?" or "Why does that person speak English with an accent?" These questions can be difficult to respond to. But as long as we explain people's differences positively, honestly and sensitively while also focusing on what makes us each special, we can teach kids that being different is OK. This can also help boost a child's self esteem. By teaching kids that differences between us are a positive thing, we send the message that it's OK for them to be themselves—even if it means being different from everyone else.