Who Said Changing Was Hard?

Truthfully, it doesn’t have to be hard.  Change can mean many things – alter, modify, transform, adjust, or amend.  Not such scary words right?  Yet why does the possibility of change scare so many people?  I’m finding that my clients are not afraid of change, but they are afraid of the possibility to change.  Ah, so it’s really resistance!  It’s the thinking that precedes the actual change that freaks them out and often leads to applying the brakes on their lives with such force that they leave skid marks as they come to a screeching halt in their progress.

Granted some changes that happen to us are extremely unexpected.  Some changes we expect yet when they happen we often find ourselves shocked.  Some changes we even set out to create for ourselves.  In all cases it really is about how we deal with the change(s) that occur or that we create.

Let’s talk about the ones we want to create for ourselves.  Often times what makes change hard is that resistance piece.  Yes, even if we really want to change, we are resistant to it.  Why?  Well, there are many reasons but one very big and important one is that as humans we very much like to have things stay the same because we feel safe, we feel comfortable and we know and like that.  It is the unknown that makes us think twice (or more) about making that change we said we wanted to create.

Recently a client kept telling me she really wanted to change her eating habits.  We created strategies and action steps for her and she’d do great for about a week or so.  Then she’d email me saying she “fell off the wagon and began eating poorly again, like I always do.”   I asked her two questions:  “How important is it to you to change your eating habits and why is it important?”  Her answers ended up being the key as to why she kept “falling off the wagon”.  Once she knew her answers, she was able to let go of the resistance and begin to get a solid grip on her wagon and not fall off.

If you find that you want to create lasting change but just haven’t gotten there yet, ask yourself those same questions.  After you have your answers, follow my suggestions below to move forward once you know why you feel resistance:

1. Ask yourself “What can I do differently right now?”
2. Create a plan of action - list several first steps you can easily take.
3. Write down your action steps and put end dates on them to keep you moving forward.
4. Trust yourself that you know exactly what to do.

Change really isn’t so hard.  I know, I’ve been there personally as well as helped others move through change so that they reach their goals.