Infidelity Is No Small Issue

Infidelity is often portrayed by the general media as something of a sport.  Nothing coud be further from the truth, as those who have endured the trauma of infidelity will tell you, it's often the most difficult experience of their lives.

Multiple states of humiliation, anger, sadness, hyper-anxiety, depression, sleep and weight loss are all part of the ordeal.

However, in the first instance it is the shock that has the initial impact. 

Place yourself in the shoes of the victim.  Their beliefs are such that all is well, nothing is untoward, and there is an unspoken understanding (in most cases) that fidelity is a fundamental principle of their relationship.  Then, one day, completely out of the blue, the details of the affair become apparent.  In an instant, white is black, and black is white.  The very person that most trust is invested, is discovered to be the one untrustworthy.  However, it isn't some small inconsequential misdemeanour, it's the ultimate nightmare.

The impact is so great, that it can takes months for the reality to hit home.  Some choose to ignore it completely, and although they know it has happened, find themselves unable to discuss the matter. Of those that do express themselves it is usually with anger, or a deep and heartbreaking sadness, and most often a combination of many different emotions.

Naturally, each individual copes in their own fashion, although it is common for the victim of the affair to experience imagined scenarios of their loved one in various situations with the paramour.  These usually manifest as images and/or exchanges of dialogue.

The desire to find out every last detail with regard to, when, how long, who knows, how often, and all manner of other facts that are essential in understanding what has been happening covertly.

For those who have been through the trauma, and have endeavoured to restore their marriage to normality,  most will tell you that it's at least two years before any trust is restored.  In that time the victim will often endure the most challenging experiences of their life.

How will they know they can trust that person again, and how they will forgive them are common themes.  Of course, there are those for whom the very act of such immense deceipt is too great, and that in itself signals the end of their relationship.  Either way, it will be a difficult time for the victim of an affair, and usually they will need some kind of professional help.  Presently, there are councellors, books, and even hypnotherapy recordings to help move people through the crisis, and crisis it is.  It is an exceptional person indeed, who comes through the anguish of infidelity and attests to it positively.  Although, in saying that, there are numerous couples that do manage to rebuild their relationships, with some saying it transformed it to something more valuable.  It is often said that a victim of infidelity may come to forgive, but they never forget.