Good For The Goose Is Good For The Gander

If you believe passionately in political correctness and cannot bear to see it used as a weapon in a war against the idiots who originated the whole politically correct idea, do please leave now. And you needn’t return. Folks with no sense of humor give me a severe pain somewhere south of my belly button.

I hold a concealed handgun license in the State of Texas. I am also licensed as a concealed handgun instructor in Texas. Contrary to the belief held by most residents of the other 49 states, Texas has some of the strictest gun laws on the books anywhere outside of New York City. I mention this only to illustrate that I have absolutely zero criminal history in a state where at least ten percent of the population can expect to spend a year or more in a penal institution at some point in their lives – and it seems that more than half of the population has something to be found in the way of criminal history, whether violent or otherwise.

This makes me a minority!

Forget that I’m a woman (we are 52 percent, after all, even if it isn’t fashionable to mention it). Forget that I’m a small business owner. I am not a criminal. I own – and carry – a gun! Voila! I am a genuine, card-carrying minority.

It gets worse. I am a minority who is hated and feared by the majority.

It’s a very good thing I don’t have children. If I had kids, the venerable American Medical Association would advise you to ask my children (if you were too embarrassed to ask me) about the guns at my house – and forbid your children to play with mine if mine were to answer the “gun question” in the affirmative. Oh, yes. Absolute fact. And you don’t even want to contemplate the lawsuit that would have occurred the first time that happened to any child of mine! Luckily for those hapless parents, it won’t ever happen to me or to my non-existent kids. You may not be that fortunate.

Nevertheless, I am a full-fledged victim of discrimination. Yes, you heard me right, folks. I am a victim of discrimination every bit as severe and as real as that which was directed at people of color in the 1950s. I am discriminated against because of my deeply held belief that self-defense (and defense of the genuinely helpless) is my right and my sacred duty.

How does this discrimination work?

Well, aside from complete morons like the American Medical Association (who don’t even pretend not to discriminate), it works like this:

Texas law states that a business owner may forbid firearms carry even by licensed individuals on his/her premises if they are posted properly. Fair enough. That’s just freedom, no matter how vehemently we may disagree with the businessperson’s decision to totally exclude firearms (except, of course, for the firearms belonging to those individuals who will ignore the law, anyway). However, Texas case law has also established that a gun owner is responsible at all times for properly securing his or her firearm.

Add to that the fact that the Attorney General has ruled that the business owner’s “premises” specifically excludes parking areas – and we have come to the crux of the problem.

Because of the Attorney General’s ruling, there is no immediately apparent problem. In fact, in theory at least, there is no problem. I disarm in the parking lot, lock my firearm in my vehicle, and go transact my business, right?

Are you out of your bloody little minds??

Does anyone here really believe that a locked vehicle is secure? Boy, have I got a news flash for you! It takes less than five seconds to enter one – and that’s if you’re polite enough to avoid breaking the window. The younger the perp, the faster the job. And if you think you might have a rough time with the law if your firearm is stolen and used to commit a crime, you don’t even know what a rough time is until that firearm is stolen by a minor in Texas!

In practical fact, therefore, a business owner who excludes firearms excludes me – because, idiot that I am, I do honestly try to obey the law.

So I am a genuine victim of discrimination. I belong to a class of people who are being deliberately excluded from a fairly large number of businesses in my state. This class of people consists of those who (a) have no criminal history, (b) obey the law even when it’s silly, and (c) carry a firearm for self-defense – and, just incidentally, for defense of that business owner’s business, although he is obviously too ignorant and frightened to see it that way.

Now let me get to the fun part of this article.

The very liberals who want to take your guns wrote the strict laws against discrimination in this country!

What is happening is actually against both state and federal law. So what can be done to redress the situation? Well, obviously, the business owners can grow up and stop being scared of law-abiding citizens, but it won’t be quite that easy. For example, carry is forbidden inside any U.S. Post Office, which would almost be a funny knee-jerk reaction if it weren’t so awfully pathetic.

Carry is also forbidden in the secure parts of a commercial airport. I may disagree, but I don’t see that changing any time soon.

On top of that, there are even one or two prohibitions I actually do agree with – like hospitals. Defending my life inside the halls of a hospital – at the expense of countless helpless patients (when the oxygen system in the walls goes bang!) – is not a picture I like to contemplate, and it would kill me just as dead, anyway. So that particular prohibition makes sense.

There are effective ways to deal with the problem, though, and they would allow for pretty much all circumstances. What about business owners actually providing security for customer’s firearms? Why not? They provide wheel chair ramps, don’t they? And Braille™ markings on elevators! If the disabled are a class of people, then so are we!

It isn’t necessary to go to any great expense for this. A bank of lockers in a small alcove near the business entrance would work. The gun owner steps into the alcove, disarms, locks his handgun up and pockets the numbered key. When his business on the premises is concluded, he steps into the alcove, opens his locker and re-holsters the firearm before departing (the key is retained by the lock for the next user). The firearm is reasonably secure for the duration, and folks are not running around the paranoid business owner’s premises with firearms all day long. Problem satisfactorily solved – and cheaply, too. These locker systems are used in most post offices today (for small parcels), and airports (a larger type, for luggage), so they are available and fairly inexpensive. On top of that, the business owner can charge a dime or even a quarter for the rent of the locker.

Everybody wins!

Now is anyone so foolish as to believe that business owners are going to do something so logical without having their figurative heads knocked together??

Don’t answer that question. The foolish optimism of my fellow man never fails to astound me. Take it on trust from your cantankerous old grandma’ here – it ain’t gonna’ happen!

So what can we do? Well, my friends, that is exactly why we have a civil court system in this country. That’s why we have civil rights attorneys, too. If we have to put up with them (apologies to attorney friends), then we might as well use them!

Let me issue a challenge here. Are any Texas concealed handgun licensees reading this? Write me! Let’s get together and plan a class action civil rights lawsuit right out of the 1960s! If you climb on board, I’ll donate your next renewal class for nothing – you will need just your fee to the state! It’s a contribution I would be pleased – and proud – to make to this effort.

Are there any readers licensed in other states? Any instructors? Go for it in your state!

Are there any Second Amendment friendly attorneys out there? Step up and volunteer to take these cases on contingency! I’ll do your classes free, too, if you live in Texas.

Let’s get some real class action suits going, people! Let’s use the system for ourselves this once!

It can be done, and it can be won, first in state – and then in federal – court.

The simple truth is that if you aren’t willing to fight for your rights, you deserve to lose them.