Doug Bower

Jesse and Al should read this!

Instead of getting all bent out of shape over innocuous remarks made by the President of Mexico, perhaps the Lord and Prince of African-American Ideological Imperialism (that's Lord Jesse and Prince Al) should know just how Americans apply for those jobs they so vehemently claim Mexicans are stealing.

The good folks at Careerbuilder.com recently took a peek into the matter. In a survey of 600 hiring managers, 70 percent of them reported the following bizarre behaviors displayed by American job applicants. [1]

Now listen carefully Lord Jackson and Prince Al:

• No shows—they make the appointment for the job interview then do not show up
• Compulsive watch-checking during the interview
• Interviewee asking the interviewer to hurry up the interview
• Applicants literally running from the room as soon as the word "drug testing" is mentioned
• Applicants telling the hiring manager that the company has a black aura and leaving the interview
• Applicants showing up for the interview in T-shirts and jeans
• "One job hopeful arrived at his interview displaying a hairy chest, medallion, strong cologne and a wad of gum in his mouth. And which is worse: the applicant who wore a housecoat and slippers or the one who wore his slippers with a bathing suit and T-shirt?" [2]
• Applicant singing the national anthem
• Trying to sell the interviewer a car
• Applicant drops to the floor and starts doing Yoga during the interview
• Applicant lapses into doing celebrity imitations
• Applicant tells interviewer he wants the job so he can get the employee discounts and then retire in 2 months
• Applicant tells the interviewer that George Bush was his last supervisor at his previous place of employment
• "Another admitted he didn't do all of the duties listed in his résumé – but he assured the hiring manager that it didn't matter." [3]
• Applicant asks for a raise during the interview
• Applicant asks how soon he can have the interviewing manager's office
• "Applicants offered their interviewers gifts, money, and even sex in return for a job offer, and one job seeker offered to shine the hiring manager's shoes." [4]

Now this is NOT to say that all Americans show up at interviews a "brick shy of a load". I would not dare make such a generalization. So let me go on record so I don't get a lot of nasty emails. Not every American without exception shows up at job interviews with "the porch light on but no one's at home". Just a lot of you apparently do.

Do not, and I repeat, do not do these (are you still listening Lord Jesse and Prince Al?) at job interviews. I guess no one told you these were not good things to do when applying for work:

• Pick your nails
• Light up tobacco or other smoking products
• Fart
• Belch
• Pick your nose or any other bodily orifice
• Scratch your private parts
• Spit

I am not making this stuff up. Americans really will do this, and more, at job interviews.

This behavior is what Mexicans would call "uneducated". And you know what? THEY ARE RIGHT!

So Lord Jackson and Prince Albert, perhaps you should take a long and hard look at the reasons American employers are hiring more and more Mexicans!
What do you think of that?

[1] Weirdest Interview Behavior by Laura Morsch, CareerBuilder.com

[2] Ibid

[3] Ibid

[4] Ibid

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