Thank you for staying with me as I continue with part two of this excerpt from The ... Self, A Positive Therapy. This section ... the way I began to reclaim my own ... Self.The third
Thank you for staying with me as I continue with part two of this excerpt from The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy. This section concludes the way I began to reclaim my own Enchanted Self.
The third unwrapping came when I needed major surgery, an emergency hysterectomy. I found myself able to permit women to nurture me through this emergency in a way that I do think I was able to do before I began this project. I no longer felt I needed to rely on the authority of the male. I yearned for the care taking, nurturing capacities that many women offer so much more freely than do most men. My surgeon was a woman and I insisted on private-duty female nurses for a while. I allowed them to cradle me, soothe me, massage me and nurse me.
The next layer that was reached was my capacity to run my practice differently, as I recovered. I was able to relinquish some of my controls and to soften professional/client boundaries as appropriate. I gave them the best that I could while still being totally honest. Why was in a recovery state, I saw clients in my living room or provided telephone sessions. I put my feet up; accepted gifts and food from clients. I let them nourish me and take care of me for a while.
During this time, my clients and I shared our competencies. They even paced their subject matter to my recovery level. Usually this was done without explanation. I accepted their pacing as one of the beautiful gifts they were able to offer me. As I grew stronger, their problems reemerged in ways that was able to cope with. They re-parented me into recovery as I had attempted to re-parent them before my sudden surgery. From women clients came gifts and cards and the presentation of beautiful sweets. All were accepted with joy and from the heart. I made no attempt to interpret them, which I thought would have been demeaning because these tokens came out of mutual caring. To have tried to interpret this material as transferential would have been a diminishment of our humanity. If need be, I could always use this material again, anyway. And if some transferential material never reemerged, what a small price to pay, to give so many of my clients an opportunity to show their competencies and caring. Most were able, with grace, to rely on their own capacities while still being aware that they were staying in treatment not to have tea with me but to further heal and grow. In helping me heal, I believe they felt empowered.
Dr. Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self and a psychologist since 1981. She is the author of two books: The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy and Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! Dr. Holstein speaks on radio, and appears on television in NY and NJ. She gives lectures, seminars, retreats and audio interviews on LadybugLive.com and is in private practice in Long Branch, NJ with her husband, Dr. Russell Holstein.