Is He (Or She) Lying?

Is he (or she) lying? How can you tell? Try the ways outlined here, but remember that all lie-detecting techniques, including polygraph machines, are regularly fooled or used improperly, resulting in mistakes. Always try to confirm the truth by other means as well, such as confession or a closer investigation of the facts.

Testing Responses

You can measure a persons desire to avoid a subject, which sometimes indicates dishonesty or guilt. If he is lying, he'll usually change the subject quickly. This is a quick way to get some indication.

An even better way to do this is to talk about the matter at hand for a bit, and then purposely change the subject at some point, to see what happens. If she is lying, she will often go along with the change easily. She may even visibly relax. An innocent person, on the other hand, is more likely to be slightly confused by the change and want to finish her thoughts.

A similar lie detecting technique involves suggesting something which would make a guilty person feel uncomfortable and then watching for the response. Let's suppose, for example, that Bill says he was at his mother's house, and Mary thinks he is lying. Simply saying "I'm calling your mother to verify this," is too confrontational. Instead she says, "That reminds me, I'm going to stop by your mother's house today to drop off that pan of hers."

If your Bill is lying, the idea of Mary seeing his mother will probably make him nervous. He may start to give reasons why Mary shouldn't go there. Then again, if a relationship has reached the point where it seems necessary to resort to these techniques, a simple lie may not be the worst of the problems.

Other Ways To Tell If She (Or He) Is Lying

When lying to you, people will often use your exact words. For example, you say "Did you leave this here?" and the person responds, "No, I did not leave this here."

People tend to use un-contracted words more often when lying. Instead of saying "I didn't sleep with her," a man might say," I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Of course some people may not use contractions often anyhow.

People often over-compensate when they lie. For example, they try too hard to be natural, or they give more detail than is necessary.

Forced smiles can indicate lying. True smiles involve more muscles, while forced smiles use just the muscles around the mouth. Pay attention enough and telling the difference becomes easier. Of course the problem here is that the lie may only be about the person's feelings.

The more she (or he) talks, the more likely you are to catch her in a lie - if she is being dishonest, of course. This is especially true when you learn the indications to watch for. In other words, learn a few indicators and let her talk.

In all cases, you should think like a polygraph operator and compare his behavior to his "base" behavior, if possible. If he always has shifty eyes, for example, then this trait can't be considered as an indication of lying. If, on the other hand, he is normally very calm under pressure, but starts shifting in his chair after certain questions, this may indicate lying. Also remember that all techniques fail at times, so use several indications before assuming he is lying.