This article is a personal account of a journey towards self-improvement, focusing on the enhancement of self-esteem. It provides insights into the struggles faced and the strategies employed to overcome low self-esteem, which was affecting both social and professional life. The narrative aims to inspire and guide others who may be facing similar challenges.
A correspondent from the Middle East recently reached out to me, expressing his struggle with low self-esteem and its negative impact on his social and professional life. He was seeking advice on how to overcome this issue that had been plaguing him for years. Although I felt somewhat ill-equipped to provide a solution, I decided to share my personal journey of overcoming low self-esteem, hoping it might be beneficial to others.
Self-esteem, as defined by the dictionary, means "to regard with respect; to prize, to appreciate. To recognize the quality, significance, or magnitude of, to admire greatly; to value." While I've encountered individuals with an excess of confidence and self-pride, I've yet to meet someone with too much self-esteem. In moments of deep honesty, most people will confess to a lack of self-esteem, expressing a desire to feel more confident, capable, and essentially, to love themselves more.
It's fair to suggest that many societal issues stem, directly or indirectly, from low self-esteem.
A few years ago, I found myself in a dark period of my life. I was struggling financially, personally, socially, and even spiritually. I once described my self-esteem as being comparable to that of a deceased rodent - a slight exaggeration, perhaps, but not by much.
Today, my life and my confidence are significantly improved. So, what changed? Was it my external circumstances or my environment? No. I realized that the change had to come from within me. It was an internal transformation that eventually altered my external experience.
Some of the steps I took towards self-improvement were unconscious, while others were deliberate.
Firstly, I distanced myself from overly critical individuals. This allowed me to gain a better perspective and focus on my own self-evaluation, without the constant reminder of my shortcomings.
I also immersed myself in inspirational books that increased my belief and gave me hope, which was severely lacking at the time.
Seeking professional help was another crucial step. A good therapist helped me see myself in a better light, providing an objective perspective on my problems.
I made a conscious effort to focus on my strengths, talents, experience, and knowledge. I refrained from indulging in negative thoughts, redirecting my focus whenever I found myself dwelling on something less than uplifting.
I took to heart Thomas Carlyle's advice, "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what clearly lies at hand." I kept busy, focusing on the tasks at hand, taking one day at a time, and maintaining faith in the Universal Spirit.
Over the years, these consistent efforts have allowed me to rebuild my finances, establish a career I'm passionate about, develop a loving and committed marriage, and most importantly, restore and improve my self-esteem.
Self-esteem is a spiral, either upward or downward. Your actions affect how you feel, which in turn affects your actions. These actions then influence how you and others perceive you, which further impacts your self-esteem.
In conclusion, you're either building yourself up or tearing yourself down. There is no status quo when it comes to your self-image.
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