My Kingdom for a Cocoon

‘A man's home is his castle’, the old saying goes. In which case let's invent a new saying. How about 'a woman's home is her cocoon'?

Cocoon doesn't sound as dashing as castle, 'tis true, but it is also true that cocoon sounds far cozier than castle. Castle conjures long, cold corridors and draughty chambers. Although not all castles - there are exceptions. I'm sure Sting and his wife has made their castle quite cozy. But the average castle is a pretty chilly abode.

Cocoons, by comparison, are soft, warm and silk-lined. Now that's cozy. So cozy that I'm sure the average pupa is reluctant to leave its cocoon when the time comes to fly.
"I would very much like to remain here," I imagine many a pupa ponders. But the call of the wild is stronger than the call to comfort and every pupa must fly. If every pupa knew that every pupa must also die shortly after they fly, they might rethink the whole life cycle and start rallying against the call of the wild, but that's another discussion for another time.

This month, I decided to make my home my cocoon. It wasn't an easy decision because the World Wide Web is not altogether encouraging of cocooning and I cannot do anything anymore without consulting the oracle of the World Wide Web.

"Cocooning is the act of physically isolating or hiding oneself from the normal social environment, which may be perceived as unfriendly, dangerous, or unwelcome," the first Google entry said. Let us co-opt grammatical ambiguity here and presume it is the act of cocoon-ing rather than the 'normal social environment' that is perceived as unfriendly, dangerous or unwelcome.

To be perceived as a bit unfriendly, dangerous and unwelcoming is excellent for one's image. It makes you a bit of a dark horse and people are drawn to dark horses.
Always good for a second opinion, I clicked on Google again: "The term Cocooning was coined in the 1990s by trend forecaster, Faith Popcorn in her book The Popcorn Report: The Future of Your Company, Your World, Your Life."

I don't know what's worse. Physical isolation or putting my company, world
and life into the hands of someone named Faith Popcorn. She sounds awful, but I'm not sure I'm allowed to say this. These days you've got to be careful about saying anything untoward about anyone because it's not good for karma, we're repeatedly warned. This goes against the grain of 'unfriendly, dangerous and unwelcome', which, as we have established, are the attractive dark horse elements of cocooning.

To set my dark horse in motion, I announce to a select few that I am about to start cocooning. The select few I choose are my most fabulously socially connected friends.

"She's isolating herself. It's dangerous, unfriendly and unwelcoming," I'm anticipating they will announce to the glittering social milieu. At which point hordes of

attractive people will try to drag this dark horse from her cocoon.

It doesn't happen this way. My friends do not behave as I had planned. "Cocooning? What do you want to do that for when everyone else is hiving? Hiving is the new cocooning," they say.

Lunging at Google, I tap in hiving. "Hiving: methods of introducing honey bee swarms into hives with recommendations on how to be successful in making them stay."
Sounds abominable, like throwing a party and making sure none of the guests ever leave. This definitely calls for a second opinion. "Hiving: the act of reconnecting and re-engaging with other people, with family, friends and neighbors within the comfort of our homes. Hiving is no longer motivated by the cocooning desire to isolate oneself and retreat from the world."

So where does this leave me? Where does this leave womankind? A woman's home is her hive? Is this what we've come to? But maybe it's not so bad after all. It's less dangerous, unfriendly and unwelcoming, that's a certainty. After all, the queen bee lives in a hive. Why be a pupa when you can be the queen bee? This gets me excited.

"Quite right, this winter I am hiving," I tell my friends.
Now all I have to do is wait and see what happens when word gets out and the hives start swarming.