Tonight’s the Night

You’ve done crunches until your abs are black and blue. You’ve researched all her secret erogenous zones and even committed yourself to spending more than 30 seconds on foreplay.

But as most women will admit, you can be a sexual Minotaur in bed – chances are it’ll leave her feeling emotionally empty, and only half satisfied, if there’s no romance or effort involved from you. Romantic feelings act as the supporting girders of a relationship and prevent it toppling.

The firmer the structure of love, the better you’ll feel about each other and the greater the incentive to stay together. Best of all, romance is also what keeps you working at sex if it doesn’t go well at first. The idea in being romantic is to make a woman believe that, at a specific point in time, only she matters. To help you with this, we’ve put together a fail safe guide for the ultimate romantic evening.

Before she Arrives set the Scene

Nerves can make you overlook a house in utter disarray. Inspect the whole place (especially the bathroom) for dirt, soiled clothing and Polaroids of ex-girlfriends. Small touches like new soap and fresh towels will go a long way.

Buff the Bed

Buy 100% cotton sheets. You’ll pay more, but they’ll feel better than blended fabric. Select neutral colors; white, beige, or cream. Look for a thread count of at least 200.

Ignite the Lighting

Candlelight’s a no-brainer. For the bedroom, go dim for a warm glow. Buy some 15 to 25 watt bulbs. If she’s self conscious about her body, fit a desk lamp with a low wattage soft light bulb, then tilt the shade away from your partner so the light reflects off a nearby wall. This is known as ‘bouncing’ and will complement her curves while hiding her flaws.

Music, your weapon of Mass Seduction

Music can have subliminal effects. Slow ‘heartbeat’ music makes our heart rate slow, muscles relax and loosen our posture, causing our skin to conduct more heat. Music also helps us let go of the distracting thoughts of the day. Play music continuously in the background.

Get Ready

Shave

Got a grizzly Adams beard and you’ve run out of shaving cream? Use a few drops of olive oil. In a panicked pinched, even hair conditioner will do.

Trim

Take care of any errant hairs in your ears, nose and eyebrows.

Use a Roll-on

A spray deodorant tends to be a more heavily scented and you don’t want it battling with your cologne. Next, apply light fragrance sprays to pulse points – neck, wrists, and the insides of elbows (the heat there makes it stronger).

Disguise a Bald Spot

After showering, blow dry your hair in the opposite direction from the way you typically part it. This adds lift to the hairs underneath. When dry, comb it back over its original shape. This will help your do look a little fuller. And stay away from helicopters.

Camouflage any Weight Gain

Avoid bold patterned clothes and look for subtle designs and textures, wear flat front pants; don pinstripes, coordinate tops and bottoms that are similar in color (like a dark shirt and dark pants). And dump the crew neck shirts and jumpers in favor of slimming V-necks.

Don’t be Tight

She’d rather see you in a grass skirt than family-jewel-crushing jeans. If you can’t easily slide your wallet out of your back pocket, your jeans are far too ‘form fitting’, so rather opt for trousers.