Many therapists recommend email communication for co parents. Writing an email can be non-threatening— if done properly. Included in this article is a step by step way to write a kid news email.
Want to successfully raise your children after divorce? Communication is a must! Though many divorcing couples would like nothing better than to sever ties, former spouses do become co parents. And clearly some co parenting situations are stressful. The negotiation process, which may have failed during the marriage, is dissolved. Many of the responsibilities of the past are gone with the onset of divorce; however, one remains. Co parenting your children is an ongoing, life-long job.
After divorce, parents sometimes feel free to express themselves and make individual parenting choices. This parenting isolation, however, puts children in a difficult situation. Children who are raised in two homes with two distinctive styles can become confused and emotionally unsettled. Parents need to remain in contact, which isn’t so easy if parents don’t like each other. At times, recommending contact is like forcing a child to eat broccoli.
Many therapists recommend email communication for co parents. Writing an email can be non-threatening— if done properly. “Properly” is the key word here. I have spent years being copied on emails that frankly shocked me. Thus, to co-parent properly via email, parents can use a format that I call Kid News. Here’s what it might look like:Kid News
Each family will have different items in their “Kid News.” Issues can be added as they arise. There are, however, two things to keep in mind. Firstly, children do best when they travel home to home rather than planet to planet. That is to say, that a consistent daily schedule is important. For instance, if while at mom’s home the child does his homework right after school, it is best if he does his homework after school at dad’s house too. If the schedule can be kept as consistent as possible, then the children will flow from one home to the other with ease. Secondly, children have moods, develop phobias, and change developmentally rather quickly. “Kids News” can be a place to share concerns or observed changes. Finally, it is important to note that this is not the forum to discuss issues between parents. A line must be drawn between your personal relationship and your co-parenting responsibilities.
To make this work, parents pick a day to send their news based on the parenting plan schedule. If you drop off the children to their other home on Sunday night, send the Kid News on Monday. Write the newsletter using only the facts: “David had a cold this weekend. He rested and seems to be doing fine now.” Or “Julie gave me a form for school pictures. I copied it and put the form back in her backpack.” And be sure not to give instructions to the other parent like, “Make sure you give David his cough syrup at night.” You can say, “He slept well when he was given cough syrup at night.” Co parents must realize their range of influence over the other parent is limited. In my experience most parent-to-parent challenges are due to the desire for control over the other parent.
Both parents need to send news from their personal perspective and experience with the children. Always respond to the other parent’s news. Check through each item to see if a response is needed and, if not, thank the other parent for the effort. This will limit needless email contact. Finally, if you are the parent who is interested in Kid News and the other is not, continue to write. The other parent’s behavior should not influence the way you do your job.
Divorce Support for Parents: A Guided Parent Child Conversation
Knowing how divorce effects children is important for parents to understand. This parenting article, that offers divorce support to parents in the form of a guided, self help, parent child conversation, will help children cope with the reality of their parent's divorce.
Anger Management for Children: 5 Helpful Tips for Parents
These parenting tips have helped many parents teach, coach and counsel their children. Teaching your children about the world of emotions gives them the tools to take care of themselves, have successful relationships and reach their goals in life.
Getting Your Child to Sleep: The Power of the Sleep Fairy
Struggling to get your child to sleep through the night can be a battle that leaves parents exhausted and desperate for solutions. The Sleep Fairy concept, a blend of positive psychology and nurturing parenting, has emerged as a creative and effective strategy to help children—and their parents—achieve a full night's rest. This enchanting approach not only encourages children to stay in bed but also rewards them for doing so, making bedtime a much more pleasant experience for the whole family.
