Wal-Mart RV Parking Rules
Spending the night at Wal-Mart in your RV may not sound too exciting but thousands of folks do it most every day.† Even at Wal-Mart there are rules and in this article a few funny tips as well.† For example: Never camp in a small RV with someone you haven't seen naked and don't mind seeing naked again.†
Over the years members of my family have lived in small country homes and large city houses. Weíve lived in one room apartments and trailer homes of various descriptions. Weíve lived in the cold winters of Canada and the hot summers of the southwest. Of course most of us now happily live in the Deep South.
While on vacation weíve stayed at ritzy hotels (rarely) and the infamous roach motels (unfortunately much more common) but until recently nobody in my family has ever spent the night at Wal-Mart. Yes, the wife and I spent our first night in an RV parked in the outermost parking spot of Wal-Mart.
RVing tip; never travel in a small RV with a person you havenít seen naked and donít mind seeing naked again.
We werenít able to get one of those 40 foot behemoths you see cruising down the road towing a Jaguar. Not only are they much too expensive for us, but we couldnít afford to drive the darn thing. Have you noticed the price of gasoline lately? The idea of an eighty gallon fill-up at three bucks a gallon makes cold chills run down my spine. Iíve sold more than one car for less money than that.
RVing tip; never stay at an RV park that charges ten dollars and is run by a man with more tattoos than teeth.
Now you can do everything in my little RV that you can do in a house, only on a much smaller scale. The RV shower is one of the most ingenious things. To give you some idea of the size, go outside near the garden hose and put your feet together. Bend over and draw a circle around you six inches from your feet. No part of your body can extend past this line. Now turn the garden hose on and hold it over your head. See, you are taking a shower. In my shower you canít actually bend over, so you just use lots of soap on the top and hope it washes down toward your feet.
RVing tip; women who shop in the Portly Pals section of the clothing store should not attempt to shower in a 22 foot RV. The same holds true for men who havenít seen their belt buckle since college.
As I write this from an RV Camp in Santa Rosa, New Mexico, Iíve just eaten a complete meal prepared in the RVís lavish kitchen. Yes, a paper plate filled with crackers and Vienna Sausages all washed down with Dr. Pepper over ice made in the refrigerator. Our refrigerator runs on AC, DC or LP. That sounds great, but the one-ice-tray freezer is the only part that actually gets cold. The rest of the refrigerator is, at best, cool.
RVing tip; when spending the night at Wal-Mart be prepared to arise at the crack of dawn. Those Wal-Mart shoppers come early and seem to get perverse pleasure out of slamming truck doors.
Yes, people who spend one hundred and fifty thousand dollars or much more to by an RV will while away a night in a Wal-Mart parking lot to avoid paying twenty bucks at an RV camp, go figure.
But if you are going to spend the night in a Wal-Mart Parking lot here are the rules:
Shop at the Wal-Mart.
Park in designated area or as far from store as possible.
Be as unobtrusive as possible.
DO NOT put out chairs, tables or other camping items.
One night and move on.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jack Kean is an author and columnist who frequently writes about his RV experiences.† You will find more RV articles and great photos at his web site, It's A Kean World.