Though it seems simple in theory, talking to people (even if you're just talking to a woman at a bar, a club, or the gym) is actually a rather complex process that covers verbal, non-verbal, emotional and psychological processes that most often must be intuited on the fly. Read this article to help you learn how to talk to people with competency and confidence.
There is an art to conversation, a particular methodology that ensures effective communication is made between you and those you talk with. It can be difficult, however, to know without the proper practice and experience.
Though it seems simple in theory, talking to people (even if you're just talking to a woman at a bar, a club, or the gym) is actually a rather complex process that covers verbal, non-verbal, emotional and psychological processes that most often must be intuited on the fly. Here are 10 essential conversation techniques to help you learn how to talk to people with competency and confidence.
#1 - LEARN TO READ BODY LANGUAGE Mastering the intricacies of reading body language is essential to effective conversation. Most of this mastery will come from practice if you pay attention, but the basics are simple. Crossed arms and poor posture mean the other person is closing themselves off to you. An open stance means they are open to you.
#2 - CONTROL YOUR OWN BODY LANGUAGE Mastering your own body language can be a tough endeavor, but it is crucial to learn when learning how to talk to people. Keep your posture open, maintain eye contact and try to keep your body and stance parallel to that of your conversation partner. Better conversation involves openness at all levels of communication.
#3 - MANAGE THE INFLECTION IN YOUR VOICE An even voice that doesn't rise too high, sink too low and that doesn't convey nervousness is very important, and requires you to focus as you speak, and think clearly during the entire conversation.
#4 - LEARN TO LISTEN EFFECTIVELY Successful conversation is mostly the art of listening effectively and at attentively, and responding intelligently to what your counterpart has said.
#5 - BUILD A RAPPORT Build a rapport with your partner by being open, and agreeing with what they say if the matters discussed are of little consequence. Make your counterpart feel as though you both are on the same side.
#6 - ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS Along with listening effectively, asking the appropriate questions based on an intelligent understanding of the conversation is critical to learning how to talk to people.
#7 - DON'T INTERROGATE Use your questions wisely, though, and ask them gently. Do not press, do not be hostile, do not make your counterpart feel as though they are being interrogated.
#8 - BE ENTHUSIASTIC, BUT TEMPER EXCITEMENT It's great to show enthusiasm for the conversation, for the topic discussed or the person you are discussing with. But don't go overboard, don't become overbearing and overwhelm your counterpart. Energy is secret to effortlessly make people like you.
#9 - REFLECT ON THE DISCUSSION AS IT PROGRESSES As the conversation moves forward, and switches from topic to topic, try to keep a running tally in your head about everything that has been discussed, and look for ways to tie the current topic back into a previous one.
#10 - USE PAUSES EFFECTIVELY While it may seem that a pause will kill a conversation, an effective pause will often prompt your counterpart to speak in an effort to fill the silence. This can be used to great effect if you are trying to get a particular fact or figure out of them.
Continue to better your conversation skills with these 10 techniques to talk to people, and you'll be making friends with women and men wherever you go.