Andrew Moquin

How expensive should an engagement ring be?

It should be something that you know she'll love and wear all the time. What you spend on it shouldn't matter. If it does, she is probably not mature enough to get married.

Many people will have many different opinions on this, so to answer your question, don't be too hard on yourself. Your intent is there for your love, and the ring will be a symbol of it. You even said yourself that you want to put more money into buying a home, etc. and that is a great mature line of thought. If you and the future Mrs see eye to eye on things, the ring won't be an issue. As a suggestion, you can go to retail stores which offer great discounts on beautiful settings; or you can look online for deals. No one has to know WHERE you bought it from; that's only for you two to know. You may want to ask what style or settings she likes. I cant speak for women, but I find it great that a man will think of the future money spent on more important things to create a life together, rather than focus on a ring too much. Besides, you can always upgrade as soon as your first anniversary if extra earnings come your way.

Some women will tell you 1 &1/2 month to 3 months of YOUR salary. This is bull crap. Women who insist on this guideline just want a rock on their hand to show off to friends. Just remember, if you spend a tremendous amount of money on a ring, and the relationship does not work out, she does NOT have to give it back. An engagement ring should be what you are comfortable with, after all, it is the relationship that is important here, not what you could afford to buy.

I always find that "three months salary" rule of thumb to be a little extreme. When I was in the process of getting engaged I asked the same question. Someone told me that and I just about had a heart attack. Not to talk numbers but I make a very good living. Three months of salary is outrageous.

We did things a little out of the ordinary. I actually went with her to pick out her ring. That way we were both sure that she would love it. When the saleswoman asked what our budget was I said $2000. I personally think spending more than that is crazy. We actually ended up designing a ring from scratch. I find that doing this is actually cheaper. The jeweler will give you an assortment of bands to select from and then you will get to choose the exact diamonds that will go in your ring. We both had fun picking every single stone in her ring. I feel like its more personal that way. Surprisingly, they had a similar ring to the one that I designed but mine was about 1/2 ct. larger. Her ring was $700 LESS than the already designed ring.

Anyways, I would suggest spending what your fiance' (and yourself if your doing it the way I did) is comfortable spending. Don't believe the "three month salary" rule. Buy a ring that you love and is affordable. The last thing you'll want to do is pawn it to pay rent! Another thing, the majority of the people I know had their engagement rings financed. Don't allow your fiance' to do that. Why should you start your married life in even more debt when you could simply save for a few weeks and buy it out right? Financing engagement rings is a bad idea in my opinion, but maybe thats just me. It mainly depends on both of you.

In truth, when the situation is right, you will know to make this important decision based upon the person you plan on getting it for....and not the price. Not to say that money should not be a consideration (as it is to all of us I'm sure), but I have learned that jewellery's true value is based on the "sentiment" and not the "superficial" aspects .

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