My Whiny B*tch - On the Inside

Ever wonder why women have a difficult time succeeding at making money in an easy manner or in a big way?

I've asked myself many times, "Why do I constantly have to worry about where the next check is coming from?"  A better question might be, "What am I doing to make it hard for me to accept money into my life?"

It's not that I'm afraid of money, I'm not.  I got over thinking it was the root of all evil years ago.  It's not that I don't want to work hard.  I do and have been for over 30 years now.  So just what is holding me back?

I think I found the answer - it's that little voice inside my head.  The one that gets whiny when the going gets tough and says, "Why can't somebody else just do this for me?"  Can you hear her?  I call her the Whiny B*tch.

I hear her especially when I get hit with an unexpected bill, for example in an emergency medical situation.  At first it's just a feeling that makes me feel weak and mostly angry (for not being born rich or not winning the lottery).  I want to lash out at someone or something that has caused me to be so poor.  Then I want to manipulate anyone I come in contact with into feeling sorry for me.  Poor woman who works so hard and still needs more money.  Boo hoo! Now mind you, this is operating at an unconscious level, so I don't even realize I'm doing it.

If you can't relate to this feeling, then I don't have any answers for you.  On the other hand, if you too have experienced this kind of nagging, never-ending, back-stabbing doubt bear with me.  I just might say something of interest that can free up your ability to attract more money into your life.

I'm guessing it's similar for other women and until you possess the desire to change this kind of mental habit, it will rule you.  But when you become aware of the voice and what it's really saying, and how it controls your behavior as well as ultimately your life experiences- then you can begin to work on changing it. 

Awareness is the starting point.  It might not be easy to change because your energy is so used to going in that direction.  Think of your old thoughts like worms crawling through the dirt underground.  They create deeper pathways the longer they are allowed to exist in your consciousness.  But when you decide to shed some light on the darkness and allow in new energy and thoughts, you can begin to create new pathways.From the first time you choose to alter your thoughts and as a result, reactions, to any given situation such as a big bill you don't have the immediate funds for, you have taken a positive step in the right direction.  Congratulate yourself.

Let me give you a personal example that hopefully will make this crystal clear.  On April 15, I got hit with an additional tax debt of $5,500.  I thought I'd paid enough in estimated taxes for 2007, so I was blown away, and I don't have that kind of money just lying around.

Then I heard the voice.  The Whiny B*tch took over and I told my son that I was stressed about money.  He's heard it before.  I also unloaded this information onto a girlfriend thinking it might make me feel better.  It didn't, and I'm pretty sure she didn't need to hear it either. 

The good news is that something inside me heard the VOICE for the first time in a way that I had never heard it before.  Whiny best described it.  And part of me thought, "Well if you want to be a big girl and play in the real world, then you have to make it on your own." 

Crap.  I hate that voice sometimes.

You know the one you recognize as speaking the truth trying to push you into becoming something better.  I've always wanted to be in a position where I can say that I've done it all on my own (although I realize you need other people to make it).  I mean nobody just gave it to me and I didn't inherit it.  I figured out the system and I worked it.  I like the feeling of being an entrepreneur and making it on my own.  It turns me on.  But the truth is sometimes I'm afraid that I can't.  Hence the whiny voice. It's the only way part of me knows how to reach out for help.

Fortunately I have a friend who has watched me grow through different situations over the years and doesn't cut me any slack. He reminds me how I used to handle situations in my 20s, and how far I've grown.  I thank god for him.  I started out as the tree-hugging, child-loving woman that wanted to have a family; but was also completely willing to work hard alongside her man.  Then I got divorced.

It's important to note that even during my marriage, there was a voice inside that kept telling me that what I really wanted was to learn to make money myself and not have somebody hand it to me or complete the process for me.  You could say it's a life lesson that I wanted to achieve.  I'm guessing there are a lot of other women that would like to experience this kind of emancipation but are also operating from some level of fear and old brainwashing that tells them women are not capable or as good as men.

The truth is we are plenty capable and we certainly can be as good given the chance.  So if you want to have the feeling that you can depend on yourself in any situation including financially, tell the whiny b*tch inside to shut up and hang on to your inner strength. 

Keep moving toward your goal and remember when the going gets tough to stay in the present. When your old tapes get your attention even temporarily, look around at nature and let it put you back into balance.  Then get back to work.