Teen Pregnancy: What are my Options?
With any pregnancy, there are three options: Parenting, Abortion, and Adoption. It is important to have all the facts about all of your options before you make a life-changing decisions. Yes, this wil...
With any pregnancy, there are three options: Parenting, Abortion, and Adoption. It is important to have all the facts about all of your options before you make a life-changing decisions. Yes, this will be a decision that will change your life no matter which option you choose.
Ready to be a mom? Is your boyfriend ready to be a dad?
Parenting is often seen as a great option, especially when your parents and your friends make promises to help. If you have support for your parenting decision, then this may be something you wish to seriously consider. Sit down and make a budget with current costs of diapers, formula, clothing, daycare, and other parenting necessities you and your baby will need. Also consider your goals, will you still be able to pursue them while parenting a baby?
Before relying on anyone's promises to help, especially financially, you need to ask yourself if these people have, in the past, made promises to you or others and not followed through? Or have they withdrawn their support when you made a choice they didn't agree with? If something happens that your friends or family cannot support you, what will you do? You need a plan and a backup plan if you choose to be parent your child.
Now, about the baby's father... Is he around? Does he have other children? Is he supporting them? Is he supportive of you? Is he abusive? Don't think that a baby will make him commit or will fix a relationship, it will simply exaggerate the problems and make the situation worse. Is this a man you want to be tied to for at least 18 years? Is he someone you want your baby to be with? Ask yourself these questions and consider the answers before you choose parenting your baby.
Isn't it easier to just end the pregnancy with an abortion? Quick and easy?
It might seem that way, but be sure you know the facts, all of the facts before you make this decision. Far too many girls have thought that abortion was the quick and easy way to go, only to find themselves haunted by the memories and feelings of abortion for the rest of their lives.
Consider this, by the end of the second week after conception, the fetus has a developing brain and a heart. This means that the fetus is not part of the mother’s body, but is distractively separate. The baby can feel pain by the ninth week after conception. You may not be able to feel it, but the baby can move and kick. Often, in an abortion procedure, the baby will fight the procedure because he can feel it.
Abortion is not a simple procedure. It may carry serious emotional and physical consequences, and should be considered carefully before a decision is reached to go forward with abortion. Statistics show that a majority of women who have abortions regret their decisions, and often, what was a "quick and easy" procedure is something that sends them spiraling out of control.
Isn't adoption the hardest decision of all?
Sometimes, the thought of carrying a baby nine months and then letting him go to a family can seem like the hardest option of all. In reality, it is often not just the best decision, but the one that allows you to be proud of the family you created.
Unlike years past, today adoption has taken on a new face. No longer is everything done in secrecy to where women would never look upon the face of her newborn child. Many women who have thought of putting their child up for adoption have found they are put off by the many inaccurate images that the word “adoption” brings to mind. Fortunately, today the face of adoption has been dramatically altered with the practice of open adoption.
Open adoption is beneficial to all who are involved, but most of all it is beneficial to the child. A child placed through open adoption grows up with a greater sense of identity; knowing not only the love of their birth parents, but also the love of their adopted family. They will grow into a more stable and secure adult if they know the truth of their adoption and why their Birth Mother felt it was the best choice. No matter what the truth is, it is always easier for a child to know than to face never knowing why they were placed with a different family.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, an award winning author of 2 adoption books Adopting Online and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide. Mardie is also the talk show host of Let's Talk Adoption.com with Mardie Caldwell and the founder of Lifetime Adoption in 1986. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox. Featured in Parade Magazine, Caldwell is an adoptive mother living in Northern California.