If you look at successful marriages, you probably notice that the couples involved have their own language for success; it may be a look; a touch; a phrase, or something else and it is likely to be nonverbal, you may not even see it.
If you look at successful marriages, you probably notice that the couples involved have their own language for success; it may be a look; a touch; a phrase, or something else and it is likely to be nonverbal, you may not even see it.
One person who has seen it and continues to see it is Dr. Gary Chapman whose book "The Five Love Languages: The Secrets of Love that Lasts" has seen his "how-to" guide on the New York Times best-seller lists for the last 16 years.
Imagine that, 16 years on the NYT bestseller list, so it is apparent that Dr. Chapman knows a thing or two about marriage, successful marriages that is.
The key to Dr. Chapman's work is the special language that long-term successfully married couples develop. Indeed, you will probably find that the author's work covers couples who may have been together a long time quite successfully but do not feel the need to be married, in a formal sense. They are just as "married" as a classically married couple and they, like married couples, have also developed a language of their own.
The author guides couples in finding the common language they need to express their love. Indeed, there are times when it seems as if a couple is speaking two different languages, however, when you look closely at the couple, they have developed their own way of communicating, however, they have just forgotten slipped a gear or two in their language skills. Dr. Chapman helps to identify this and gets the couple speaking the same languages again.
As Dr. Gary Chapman has worked with couples he has identified the primary languages that each couple speaks to show its love.
First, Dr. Chapman notes that there is a special language to the quality time a couple wants to spend together. It may not be exactly the language you would choose, but if it works for that couple, it is a valuable first language.
Then, Dr. Gary Chapman has noticed that each couple has its own vocabulary of affirmation. In other words, a successful couple has its own language of affirmation that, while you may not understand it, you do not have to, as the couple involved is the couple that has to speak the second language.
The third language that Dr. Chapman has found is a special language of gifts, even small items may have their own special names to each couple and that's okay. Again, you don't have to understand the third language of gifts, the couple speaking the language is the one that has to understand it.
Fourth and fifth, Dr. Chapman has identified languages that cover acts of service to one another or physical touch. Indeed, they may be they core languages that any couple needs and from which the rest of the languages begin.
Dr. Gary Chapman has found that all successful couples learn to use their own special variations on the languages of love and that it doesn't really matter whether the whole world understands it or not, just so long as you do, then you'll be successful.
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