Do You Try Too Hard to Make People Like You?

It’s natural to want other people to like you. We are gregarious creatures after all. On the other hand, how you go about making this happen is a significantly different topic.

One of the attitudes that will often backfire when dealing with other people is trying really hard, too hard to impress them.  Let’s look into the psychology of this phenomenon and see why this is happening.

It’s essential for you to understand that once people realize that you’re desperately trying to get them to like you, your behavior becomes a turnoff. You come across as a needy and insecure person who is desperate for the approval of others. This is definitely not the kind of people we like.

On top of this, if people pick-up on your insecurity, some of them will use that against you. You’ve got to realize that not all people are well intentioned. If a lot of persons in your life are using you, this could be the sign that you’re letting yourself depend too much on the approval of others.

There is another side to this story: the energetic one. When you’re always trying to figure out how you need to be in order to impress others and to pretend you are that way, it becomes emotionally and mentally draining. This is why such individuals often feel very tired after dealing with other people.

It gets worse: as psychologists point out, when a person acts really out of character for a long time, they tend to lose touch with their natural self and get a strong sense of alienation. They try to be everybody they think others want them to be so they end up being no one person in particular. 

If you try too hard to make people like you, you may already experience some of the problems mentioned above. There are simple signs that something needs to change in your behavior and attitude.

Realize that you cannot please everybody and you don’t need to please everybody either. It’s OK to want to put your best foot forward in communication, but you don’t want to be desperate for the approval of other people.