Few things in a man's life are as painful as the heartbreak after a
breakup. This article will help all men to mend a broken heart. The
sense of loss is palpable - it's as if someone in the family died. The
five stages outlined here have guided many men to recovery from a
broken heart, and they'll help you too, so that eventually you can get
back to dating! No two individuals are the same, and no two
relationships are the same, so it's difficult to say how long you'll be
in any particular stage except to say that it's dependent upon the
severity of the pain you're feeling.
Few things in a man's life are as painful as the heartbreak after a
breakup. This article will help all men to recover from heartbreak.
Immediately after a breakup, it's hard to imagine that there's any good
reason to go on living. Don't be pessimistic - understanding and
following these five steps will help you to get your life back on track
and permit you to re-enter the wonderful world of dating! No two people
are the same, and no two relationships are the same, so it's impossible
to say how long you'll be in any particular stage except to say that
it's dependent upon the severity of the pain you're feeling.
Stage One: Acknowledgment
You want to get back on track with your life, but first you've got to
recognize that this part of your life - the relationship and the girl -
are now in your past. You used to pass so much time together, either
physically or on the phone or online. Now she's no longer there. This
has got to be one of the most unbearable times a man will go through,
because your relationship is dead, she doesn't want to be with you, and
dealing with the thought of that seems just too much to bear - yet the
thought of the breakup keeps going through your head, over and over
again, so that it seems as if your heart won't let itself be healed.
As the days go by, though, you realize that you can bear it. Nothing
good happens in a hurry, and no matter how positive and fulfilling your
relationship was, now that it's over, the most good that can happen is
that you get over it. And slowly, that's just what happens, as you
gradually begin to be able to admit to yourself that she's gone, and
the relationship has ended - yet you're still there.
State Two: Go ahead and grieve
You're at the stage now where you've accepted that she's gone and the
relationship is over. In many ways, you've come to terms with the
death of the relationship, and just as you'd grieve for the death of
someone close to you, it's proper and natural to grieve for a lost
relationship. Don't feel ashamed or reluctant to cry if you're
inclined to do so - don't hold back. It's a natural feeling and a good
way to relieve the pressures building emotionally.
Stage Three: Outrage
Don't blame yourself for the breakup - she's the one who walked out,
not you. At this stage in the process, as you come to grips with the
reality that she's gone, and you've actively grieved for the loss of
your relationship, it's actually normal to feel anger with her for
leaving, even though you might have been feeling that way for quite a
while now.
Stage Four: Women!
If
you're considering it might be time to start stepping out and meeting
people again - especially women - your emotions have to be pretty much
back to normal. The sorrow you feel for the loss of your relationship
should be no more than the sorrow you feel for a close friend or parent
who died years ago. Your anger's also got to have subsided. If you're
still upset, there's a good chance you'll take it out on a new woman
you meet. You know the old saying, "There are plenty of good fish in
the sea." A walk through any suburban mall at any time of the day will
confirm that! And of all the women you may see there, so many are
looking for someone they can be close with, someone they can share
their lives with.
Stage Five: At long last, freedom
Finally, you've freed yourself from the emotional bondage to the failed
relationship. Now you're experiencing something new - real freedom.
Not only are you freed of your bondage to the failed relationship,
you're also free of the terrible anger you felt for your ex. Instead,
you feel as if you can soar through the sky, and if you hear news of
her, well, it's interesting, but it doesn't affect you. And you're not
feeling conscience-smitten when you talk with another woman, or ask her
out. This is the stage they're talking about when they tell you to "Get
on with your life!" You're alive again, back in the swing of things.
Enjoy!
Andrew Hunter enjoys helping men deal with the conflicts and challenges they experience in relating with women and helping them form successful relationships.
