Spice Up That Conversation For The Most Fulfilling and Intimate Relationships

Indulge his inner Superman

Every man secretly longs to play super-hero and save the day. That's why one of the best ways to get him talking is to ask for his help in solving a problem, whether it's a work snafu or a friendship crisis. Even if you're not looking for a solution, make him feel important.

Dream big together

It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day minutiae of life and forget to talk about big things like your innermost dreams. (Remember those?) But, it's super-bonding to talk and think about the future you're building together. Dreams are like big plans. Sharing them is a way of saying, "I am happy and want you right there with me in every step of the way."

Really listen

Hey, it's only normal to zone out after, 'How was your day?' But focus and you'll catch a tidbit that opens into a convo. One easy trick that will help you stay totally tuned in at that critical moment - repeat your partner's answer as a question. "Your meeting has been postponed again?" Saying his words aloud forces you to register their meaning, and practically guarantees he'll elaborate.

Chat him up in the car

Ever notice how your most surprising conversations happen on the interstate? It's no accident - guys are most likely to free-associate when they're partly occupied (even if it's just killing time until they get into the range of a good radio station). There's a reason: Men are more likely to open up when they don't have to make eye contact, confirm studies. In the male world, eye contact is confrontational. Looking straight ahead makes him feel more comfortable.

Drop a juicy tidbit

Here's a get-closer move you really wouldn't expect: Share a hot piece of gossip with him before you tell any of your girlfriends. While most men pretend not to care about other people's private lives, a recent study from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that guys actually eat gossip up more than women do.

Play "What if..."

Want to know him on a whole new level? Run a personality-revealing question by him. A few of our favourites: If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you choose? or If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Who knows, you may even pick up an insider gift tip or fresh date-night idea.

Bring up five happy things for every problem

Sure, it's important to get problems out in the open. But the happiest couples dwell much more on what's right in their little world than what's wrong. Research has found that the strongest couples actually make five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as negative ones. No need to keep a tally; just remember to keep the complaints to a minimum on a daily basis. And make a habit of hitting happy notes.

Feel-good moves

Why get hands-on with your man? Touching causes a physiological reaction - it gets oxytocin, the hormone that creates feelings of connection, flowing.

Hitch a piggyback ride

No instructions needed - just sneak up from behind him, throw your arms around his neck and hop on. Snuggling tight and nuzzling the back of his neck seals the deal.

Overlap your morning shower

Agreed: Sharing a shower is not sexy. But tag-teaming it - meaning you don't get out until your guy gets in - is far sexier than you'd think. Share a quick kiss before hopping out or invent your own special 'tag'. Not in a big rush? Even better: Lounge around until your husband is out of his shower, then open your towel and warm him up.

Flirt shamelessly... with your own man

The next time you two are at a crowded party together, or even lazing around one crazy Saturday afternoon, accidentally brush against him.

Get warm and cozy the old-fashioned way

So the air-conditioning made it a little chilly inside that restaurant or movie theater? Instead of wrapping yourself up and getting out of there, tell him "you're a bit cold, smother your face against his chest, and let his body heat get you warm.

Make TV time together a turn-on...

...by idly tending to a few unexpected erogenous zones on your guy's body. First, lightly trace delicate circles on each of his wrists. Next, let your touch wander to the tippity-top of each of his fingers.

Date-night makeovers

Date nights are great - until they start to get a little too routine. Solution: Break out of the Saturday-night-at-8 box. Trying anything new wakes up the brain, say researchers, "It releases dopamine, which gets you both excited."

Plan a top-secret, super-confidential date

One of you is always picking the movie or calling to make the dinner reservations. So bust out of the rut: Every Friday or Saturday for the next month or two, trade off surprising each other with hush-hush romantic outings.