Joy Martin

Surviving A Break Up For Women - Advice For How Do I Stop Thinking About Him?

My advice in this article about surviving a break up for women is about how to stop thinking of your ex lover, so you can function normally and move on with your life. I've personally used all these 3 methods so I know they work.

My advice in this article about surviving a break up for women is about how to stop thinking of your ex lover, so you can function normally and move on with your life. I've personally used all these 3 methods so I know they work.

Advice #1: Stop Fighting Your Urge To Think Of Him.

I know this is counter-intuitive but it truly works. Here's the reason: "What you resist will continue to persist." What this means is that the more you fight your urge to think about your ex lover, the more your subconscious will find ways to sneak up on you and hurl images of your ex into your mind.

Hence, the best thing you can do right now is to surrender yourself to the fact that you DO want to think about him and just let yourself do it. Don't make yourself wrong for wanting to think about your ex.

To help speed up your process, lie down in a quiet place by yourself, and allow yourself to imagine your ex lover. Communicate with him during your visualization process.

[Warning: You might cry or start to feel very angry. If that is the case, just let yourself feel your feelings. You can even cry and beat your mattress or pillows if you want.]

Next, imagine being comforted by someone you love and trust. It could be your mum, dad, grandmother, grandfather, God, Great Spirit, etc. Imagine them being kind and loving to you - stroking your hair and telling you that everything is going to be okay.

Everything IS going to be okay. It is perfectly normal to grieve when a relationship you cared a lot about breaks up. So give yourself permission to grieve and feel whatever you are feeling.

Advice #2: Remove everything in your home that reminds you of him.

Have you ever noticed that when you hear an old song that you used to play a lot when you were younger, you have the tendency to return to those times and reminisce?

That's because our mind forms associations with events, people and objects. It automatically attach meanings to objects and places. Hence, if you truly want to stop thinking about your ex lover, you must do your best to grab everything surrounding you - that reminds you of him - and put it in a box.

If you feel strong enough, throw the box away. Otherwise, ask one of your good friends to temporarily keep it for you. I guarantee that doing this type of physical housecleaning will give you an instant lift in your mood and attitude!

Advice #3: Use Reverse Psychology On Yourself.

Pour your heart out to someone. Keep talking about your ex lover until you find yourself getting sick of the topic.

This is similar to 'Advice #1: Stop fighting your urge to think about him'. The difference is that the goal of this process is to get yourself into a state of boredom or just get fed up.

Here's an analogy of how this method works: Imagine you love to eat beef. So one day, you go for a meat buffet. During the buffet, you stuff yourself with beef. Even though you feel full, you refuse to stop and keep feeding your body with beef until you finally get sick and throw up. Do you think you will still want to eat beef the next day? Not likely, yes?

So that's what I mean by using reverse psychology on yourself. Overload your mental system with thoughts about your ex lover until you feel sick and tired about thinking about him.

Surviving a break up for women is particularly hard because we place great emphasis and importance on our relationships. And when a relationship doesn't work out for us, the other parts of life start to suffer as well.

Please be kind to yourself during this painful period. Do what you can to make yourself feel happy. Eat some ice-cream, surround yourself with beauty, buy yourself some flowers to cheer yourself up, go for a spa or massage, get your nails done, etc.

Speak lovingly to yourself like "I love you", "You are beautiful", "You are special", "You deserve love". The better you treat yourself, the sooner you will discover yourself thinking less and less about your past relationship. Be patient and give yourself some time to heal.

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