Teens Love - Falling In Love At 14?

Stephanie, 17, and David who is just 18 are college students who think they are in love. They feel the world is at their feet. The moment Stephanie thinks about David, her face glows with joy. Both believe they are made for each other and should get married at the earliest, irrespective of what their parents may advise. Everything seemed very rosy till the time they actually got married and went through the harsh practicality of life.

Youth is a time of impatient desires. They want the things available to adults, but adulthood seems so far away. The typical teenage boy enters puberty around the age of 11 and girl enters puberty around the age of 10. Two to three years later, these teens gain the ability to have sexual intercourse, yet the average age for marriage has been gradually delayed to about 27. Few teenagers are inclined to wait nearly twice their current age before experiencing sex.

A perfect example of children getting into relationships is the case of Sana and Denis. Sana, 9, is an average standard IV student. For her, going down to play in her building is not as simple as it seems. Her friends have been coaxing her to pay heed to the attention she has been getting from 11-year-old Denis, a boy from the neighbouring building. After much cajoling by her friends, she has now started to like him too. It's been three months, and now they are into a 'relationship'. Sana's friends are now readying her for her first kiss.

The onset of puberty is now seen at younger and younger ages. There are many factors that could possibly add to the 'kids having sex' phenomenon, such as 'family life, socio-economic background, and peer influence. According to Thomas Varghese, a teacher at a popular suburban school, "Parents should never forget that no matter how friendly they get with their children, they are the parents and correcting their child is just one of the responsibilities of being a parent." Now-a-days, many families have both parents working. The parents can't always monitor their child's each and every move. "I think that parenting has something to do with it, but you can't lock your kids in a bubble," says Allison Shields, a mother of two. The average age, in early 1960's, when a young boy or girl had sexual intercourse for the first time was 21 years. Today, it has dropped to around 16 years. Another important factor that makes the youth indulge in sexual intercourse at such an early age is the idea of 'instant pleasure'.

Here are some tips on how you can deal with the teenage 'love crisis' at home:

Ask children to be patient

See if you can get them to buy time and secure their own future by asking them to wait till they are adults. This way they can judge for themselves if their relationship stands the test of time.

Draw their attention to differences in lifestyle

For a relationship to stand the test of time, both partners need to adjust to the lifestyle of each other. Point out this essential fact to them.

Keep lines of communication open

Lack of communication channels can lead to misconceptions. Encourage your child to be frank and clear about the issue, however trivial it may seem.

Stress on the importance of financial independence

For any relationship to work out, financial independence is an important factor. Children should be made to understand the importance of it in the context of relationships.

Encourage and cultivate independent decision making

Parents should ideally not forcefully impress their will and ideas on children. Rather they should take a very balanced stand by providing the child with insight into issues and guide them in this regard.