Asking the bully to 'Leave you alone, stop, etc.' is what I believe to be the most basic technique for victims of bullying. I find that many students do not use this simple and basic technique to stop being bullied.
By the time they get to me, the school counselor, they are so mad or hurt that they cannot even talk to the bully. The first techniques to teach or reteach victims is to tell the bully to stop or return the challenge. Students can get this message across in a variety of ways. They can tell them in what I call "kid language" to stop - using words that don't sound like what an adult would say like "Back off," "Cut it out," or some other type of slang that would get the message across to the bully and allow them to save face at the same time.The bully needs to know that the student does not like what they are saying or doing to you. I guess most of you are thinking that the bully should know what they are doing is wrong, and many of them probably do, but I feel that emphasizing that the victim tell them to stop helps them develop their own strength to take care of themselves - which is the goal of most counselors, therapy, etc. Returning the challenge is the most basic and effective bully technique. And, it is one I feel we need to emphasize over and over to those tormented by bullies. Because the more these bully victims practice this, the more effective they will get at this basic technique.Paula McCoach has been in public education for 23 years. She has been a school counselor for the past 10 in an alternative school and an elementary/middle school in Maryland. She has spearheaded mentor programs, Character Education initiatives, & Bully awareness. For more information, send an email to coach@bullyzapper.com or http://www.bullyzapper.com
