Snookie Goes to College
As if this Jersey Shore craze wasnít ridiculous enough a University is paying Snookie more money to speak to their students than they are paying Toni Morrison. ††
Have you heard the latest? Snookie is going to college. No she isnít actually going to attend college because that would be a waste of time considering how much she has already accomplished in her life. (I hope you can feel the sarcasm dripping off that statement.) But if she went to college at least that would show she was attempting to do something important in her life. (Silly me I forgot that it doesnít get anymore important than spending every day in a tanning bed and every night getting into a drunken bitch fight.) No, the truth is so much worse, itís even painful to think about.† A university is hiring Snookie as a speaker. WaitÖ. I thought the point of going to college was to become smarter, not to have your brain cells reduced by listening to illogical and ridiculous advice.
Apparently Rutgers University disagrees with that statement because they are paying Snookie $32,000 dollars to speak at a Q&A session with 1,000 students. I canít even begin to describe how upset this makes me but I will do my bestÖ First things first; let me get this straight a university, a actual university whose sole purpose is educating the next generation is going to pay over thirty grand to get advice from one of the most unintelligent and dim-witted people I have ever had the displeasure of seeing on my television screen. Sadly that about sums it up.
What kind of advice is Snookie going to give these students? Well from the mouth of the Jersey Shoreís premier Barbie herself ďStudy hard, party harderĒ. Yes thatís excellent advice. In a hurting economy where jobs are hard enough to come by lets tell the students to put studying and work on the back burner and instead spend all their free time getting drunk and waking up next to someone whose name they canít remember. Remember Snookie we canít all be so lucky to get a job doing absolutely nothing and simultaneously being one of the worst role models. How do you pull that off? Thatís just what this country needs, more people who make money while doing absolutely nothing for the people of America. (Again sarcasm dripping off that statement.)
After all every member of the graduating class needs to hear important details about the real world like; what to do if your tanning bed overheats, how to keep your hair extensions in during a cat fight, and of course how to demean yourself and your hometown on television every week. I mean how would we ever survive in this cruel world without those invaluable words of wisdom that obviously take precedence over advice regarding resumes, job searches, first apartments, budgeting, relationships, and facing your problems with intelligence and grace not booze and fake nails.
What is that University thinking? Have they gone mental? The students that go there are even more infuriated over this than I am. They have every right to be considering their hard earned tuition money is going to pay Snookie (someone they donít even want there) instead of improving the facilities, buying new books, adding classes, or hiring a new teacher. Heaven forbid that the tuition money actually go to improving the school instead of bringing it down. I for one would be ashamed to be a member of that University considering the poor decision they are making. And as if this wasnít enough of a joke already they are paying Snookie more than they are paying Nobel Peace Prize winner Toni Morrison to speak at the schoolís commencement.
So let me get this straight again, they are paying a -hasnít accomplished anything remotely note worthy in her life and is a disgrace of a role model- ďstarĒ more than they are paying an intellectual who has not only accomplished something in her life but accomplished enough to earn herself a Nobel Peace Prize. Itís a joke, a huge joke and itís not only insulting to the students of the University but to the entire United States of America. Iím appalled and sickened by the entire affair. I just have one question to end this article. Where does it end? Are they going to let the Jersey Shore cast give advice at the next political event, maybe they can even run for office. Canít you just picture the Situation being the next governor of New York? It has to end, being paid obscene amounts of money to have that ridiculous show on television and being a bad influence for all the viewers is bad enough but now they are speaking at intellectual centers where they arenít even wanted. Someone please make the madness stop.
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