Vampire Fiction With Absurd Action And Outrageous Humor!

Mar 1
09:39

2011

Matt R. Jones

Matt R. Jones

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If you want vampire fiction with romance,Vampire Fiction With Absurd Action And Outrageous Humor! Articles angst, or cape-clad villains, you’d best move on.

“Hotel Hijinks” totally ignores the rules of traditional vampire fiction – it’s not concerned with darkness, misery, or teenage immortals… it’s all about wall-to-wall mayhem and outrageous humor!

Kimmie and Mary are young vampires, and they dig it.  They LOVE being vampires.  Now that they’ve gotten the hang of things, they’re no longer concerned with merely BEING vampires – they want to put their new abilities to use to benefit them…

Such as tracking down Mary’s favorite pop singer – Rory McJenkins – in an upscale L.A.  hotel and get his autograph.  Mary’s also holding on the hope of getting laid in the process.

There are no teenage romances or Renaissance trappings here – just a couple of girls abusing their vampire powers… and making you howl with laughter at all the dumb situations they stumble into.

This is vampire fiction for readers who are tired of the old traditions and need something that’s simply and unashamedly FUN!

Allow me to ask you…

If you were a vampire, what would YOU do?

Sit around your darkened house and wallowing in self-pity, paralyzed by whether or not it’s okay to drink blood?  Or transform into a cold-blooded, cackling villain?  Or maybe start hanging around the local high school and picking up unhappy girls?

Or would you embrace your vampirism – and see just what you could get away with?

(And I hope that doesn’t mean hanging around the local high school and picking up unhappy girls.)

Kimmie and Mary are young as vampires go – they’ve only been immortal for less than a year – but they’re in love with their supernatural strength, speed, and agility.  What’s NOT to love?!

Being young vampires, they’re supposed to keep things low-key by order of the city’s elder vampires.  It’s a common-sense rule laid down for everybody’s safety, and to keep the presence of vampires hidden.  But…

Kimmie doesn’t see the point in being a vampire if you can’t have fun with it.

When their attempt at sneaking into the swank Osterberg Arms dressed up like hookers spectacularly fails, Kimmie decides it’s time to break out the big guns and get in the vampire way.  Things go really smoothly…

Until Kimmie gets her eye shot out by a punk kid with a BB gun.  And remember, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye!

So the hunt for a British pop singer transmutates into a bizarre quest for revenge, as Kimmie angrily tracks down her pre-teen tormentor – and then it gets REALLY ugly.  The only hope for this situation lies with Mary – a good-hearted gal who dresses like a Spice Girl and openly talks to the voices in her head.

So in other words… the you-know-what’s gonna hit the fan.

It’s vampire fiction without the usual paint-by-the-numbers romance or gothic sadness.  You’ll discover the insane, screwball side of vampire fiction with “Hotel Hijinks” – and laugh yourself stupid in the process!

When you become a vampire, you don’t necessarily turn into an otherworldly creature with concerns beyond those of “mere mortals.”  You’re still the person you always were, just with a few… enhancements.

You’ve read all the vampire fiction about the dark side of immortality – now read a story about how much fun it can be!  At least if you’re able to avoid the hotel’s tuxedo-clad enforcer – a beady-eyed monstrosity named Brock.  Or the perverted bellboy hopped up on hallucinogens.

Or murderous pre-teen boys with BB guns.

“Hotel Hijinks” is a potent, high-spirited recipe for disaster that the Three Stooges would feel right at home in!

But allow me to warn you…

“Hotel Hijinks” is for vampire readers with an open mind and appetite for destruction – you’ve gotta be ready to embrace the absurd and howl at the hilarity.  Any attempt to take this story seriously ain’t gonna work, my friend.

Get wrapped up in the lunacy of “Hotel Hijinks” within just four minutes by following the link below…

The Official Hollywood Vampires Website

This ain’t your mommy and daddy’s vampire fiction, folks – and it sure ain’t your kid sister’s.  This is what happens when vampires stop moping around and start living it up!  Just don’t put your eye out…