Can Mediation Work For You In Lieu Of Divorce
If you are about to get a divorce, I want you let you know that mediation might be a great alternative to that divorce for you. You won't have to hire an attorney and the outcome can be just as effective.
Have you considered using a mediator versus a divorce attorney for your divorce? Mediation wasn't in vogue when I divorced, but I surely would have looked at it if it had been available. It's become quite popular over the last few dozen years. I think it is a highly acceptable option as an alternative to hiring a divorce attorney.
In mediation, both individuals have a voice that is clearly heard. A mediator can educate the divorcing couple about techniques for calmer communication. These techniques become useful on an ongoing basis as the kids are growing up. When the divorcing couple use the techniques taught via mediation, their child is blessed, because inflamed emotions and blame subside and objectivity comes to the forefront.
Agreements reached through the employment of a Mediator have a higher compliance rate because both parents participated in the creation of the agreement. If you agreed upon something, why would you not honor your own agreement? Mediation that you've both worked on is much easier to live with than having some judge's decision land in your lap.
Mediation clarifies communication generally, because each individual gets time to speak. The mediator will not tolerate over lording.
During the first mediation session, each party gets to lay his cards on the table and they both decide on the agenda items for the second meeting. Then, each of them gathers data for next meeting from all the relevant sources. This is the time when real estate has to be assessed; retirement funds examined; debts tallied, etc.
During the second meeting, you work to clarify any issues that require resolution, and you mutually make a decision about the outcome. For example, you might look at how the assets will be distributed, who gets custody and when, or how much child support or alimony is agreeable. The participating parties are taught both how to compromise, how to negotiate, and how to honor the court systems of the state in which they reside.
Then, an Agreement is drafted by the mediator. You will have the opportunity to review the Agreement, revise it, finalize it. It becomes legally binding in it's final format. If you use a mediator, there are no court appearances. Mediation is frequently less expensive than hiring an attorney and is a common sense alternative to a court divorce.
Mediators are trained to help emotionally explosive couples. Mediators will not let an overly powerful spouse exploit the less powerful one. The Mediator is neutral. He does not side with either party. He does not advise either party. If you feel it necessary, it is optional to bring an attorney with you to the mediation session. I think Mediation is a viable option if you must get a divorce.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com