Getting Out of the (Relationship) Doghouse!

Funny thing is, when we asked our girl friends how they got out the dog house with their men folk, the answers were all pretty similar, and they all have that one sussed. But, as we know, women are a funny lot, and somewhat more complex. So, if you are here and you're already in bother, or at least you will be when she finds out, then you need to work out where you are on the misdemeanour scale, and then see how our suggestions go for you.

Forgotten to pick up milk/dry cleaning/dinner?

Thankfully, these sorts of things are fairly minor offences so a good apology, plus going back for the offending items goes a long way. Unless you do them on really regular basis, in which case you need something, or someone, to do some serious memory prompting with you.

You might want to pick up something fun or even just nice for her, just to say really sorry. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, in fact expensive is probably going to have the reverse effect. She might think you’ve done something even more wrong than you are admitting to! 

Put a red sock in with the white washing or boil washed her hand wash by mistake?

Difficult one, given that you were obviously trying to be helpful, but you're still going to have to make amends. Now you can either just replace what's gone pink/shrunk beyond all belief, or you could upgrade it to a much more luxurious version of the original.

If it already was a luxury item, then you'll have to upgrade the apology, and we suggest you go straight to good jewellery. Diamonds preferably. But if you’ve shrunk a regular jumper, then treat her to a cashmere one. And if you’ve dyed her everyday undies pink, then buy her something beautiful and pretty.

Been out on too many boys nights out in row?

Best to repay this one with some girly time to herself, or doing something really nice for her, like making dinner or breakfast in bed. Or you could organise dinner for her and her girlfriends. Which will not only get you brownie points with your beloved, but one up on all the other guys in your circle of friends. Or maybe that might be former friends!

First things first, send her off for to a day spa for some pure indulgence, with nothing to do but relax. Treat her to a top to toe pamper day, and preferably for her and a friend. Whilst not cheap, you’ll make the day even better for her by having someone to gossip with and enjoy the treatments and relaxation. 

So, whilst she is out getting all relaxed, you can create the perfect dinner. Just try not to trash the kitchen whilst you do it, otherwise the relaxing effect of the day, and the brownie points that go with it, will be gone in a moment.

Forgotten her birthday/your wedding anniversary/birth of your first child?

Okay, you're in fairly serious trouble now. These are really bad offences, and you know it. Bet you've been getting the silent treatment, or possible the very loud shouting, throwing of china treatment.

So first, you are going to have to apologise. A lot. And very sincerely. And then not only produce an amazing birthday/anniversary/well done on getting through labour present but also a big sorry present too. Don't wince, but it's probably going to be expensive.

We think diamonds (told you not to wince) are the ultimate get out of the doghouse quick card. Get thee to a good jeweller and quick. Do not skimp, and do not pass go until you are bearing sparkling gifts.

You slept with her sister/mother/best friend

Oh dear, you probably don't need us to tell you that you are beyond our help. You could try all of the above, but we think it's probably a little late for this. We’d try searching for an article on good divorce lawyers or, if there is a hint of a possibility that she might forgive you, the route to marriage counseling.